Joke of the Moment

After a wonderful Thanksgiving with the people I love and a great weekend, I am feeling generous and uncharacteristically kind and loving. As a result, I want you to be as happy as I am at this moment so I am going to share a simple joke that made me laugh REALLY, REALLY loud (Thankfully the staff here is used to my sudden outburtsts of laughter and they shake their heads and move on) Anyway, I am sharing it with anyone else who likes simple stuff and might need a good laugh today.

Little Susie goes home from school and tells her mom that the boys keep asking her to do cartwheels, because she's very good at them.

Mom said, " You should say no - they only want to look at your undies."

Susie said, " I know they do; that's why I hide them in my backpack.

HA!

Luv ya,
AllieMac'Gina

Women and Bathrooms

Men always ask...."Why do women go to the ladies room together?" I am one of those women. I like company, and I like people around me at all times, maybe that is why I do it. I do not ask someone to go with me when I am at home or at a friends house, wouldn't even think of it. It is only when I am at a public place.

When I am out, I will gladly escort you, or ask you to go with me to the ladies room. I have never been jumped in a bathroom, nor have I ever had my head flushed in the toilet. I have no bathroom phobias. I was working on a bathroom calendar with photos of me and facebook friends in local bathrooms last year, so I clearly like them. I have had my ass submerged on more than one occasion, when a man has left the seat up, I don't mind, just saves me the trouble of bathing that day. There is no clear reason for this behavior on my part and I am not afraid to go alone

Men, in case you aren't sure how it works, we converse over the enclosed stalls. If there is more than one stall, we all go and continue our conversation as if we are on the phone. If there is one stall, we still continue the conversation, like we are on a phone, but just take turns in the stall. (I giggle when there is someone and they pee really really fast, it is like a crazy pee, like someone is in a great big hurry and it is so loud, it makes me laugh, just sayin) When we are all finished, we continue to wash our hands, fix our hair, apply lipstick and occasionally try each others makeup and stuff. We usually do all of this without skipping a beat in our conversation. We then exit the bathroom, and continue on with our evening.

The downside....Sometimes I have to wait forever for a bathroom, because of this behavior. I hate it when I am solo, and have to wait in a line. I wait and wait, and then three women come out. You know what they were doing, and it would have gone much faster if they just went in alone. But we do it. I find that i don't do this as much as I used to when I was younger. I do find myself texting when I am alone in a bathroom or I check my facebook. HA. Maybe technology is changing this behavior as well. I would hate to think I might just be growing up.

Oh, and in case you care about any of this, I think that men don't do it because they have no stalls. We can go to the bathroom together, but still have privacy in our own little stall. Men would have to look at each other, while holding themselves, and they just aren't secure enough for that.

That is all, until we meet in a ladies room...

Luv ya,
AllieMac'Gina

A perfect example of why I HATE people!

My Family is going though a really rough time with fact that our dog ran away two days ago. My kids don't sleep and beg me everyday to "PLEASE find Copper" as they leave for school. My Husband and I have done everything possible to find this dog. We have called SPCA's, filed Missing Dog reports, Posted pics on FB, driven in circles for hours and days on end, posted listings on Craigs List and Petfinder. Today I received an email from someone through petfinder stating that they found my dog. I was so excited, I responded right away. Then went back and read it again, thinking it sounded a little weird....

"I want to let u know am in custody of yourmissing pet.I place advert on petfinder www.petfinder.combut have not heard from you.I have been taking good care of your pet withgood diet cause i have a chihuahua breed at home.

Please i need your urgent response so we take it from there on how i can send your pet to you.I will be goingdown to england to see my sick Mum so please contact meImmediatly on my private email below

george_evans01@hotmail.com

I shall give you instructions on what to do when i receive your email.

RegardGeorge Evans"

I had responded stating that I would pick him up anywhere anytime. I then received an email back telling me he just got home from work (this is an important part to remember when reading the next email) asking me for more details to Identify that I am the owner of the dog. I sent a picture, and gave a description, but stated "If this is a scam, please don't continue any further, I have small children who are desperately looking for their dog" Then this is the response I received.....

Goodday. I receive your email with proper description of your pet .Please be aware that the sole reason i never send you list of description of your pet earlier was because so many people have called faking to be the owner of the pet and being a devoted Christian i know when someone tells lie concerning something that doesnt belongs to them.And also i didnt states my contact address and phone number on my corresponding email also because few weeks ago someone threathened my wife and such i wouldnt allow that to happen again.My Family means so much to me. My wife has fully confirmed that the above descriptions matches your pet.In time past we have had similar cases and the security here advised that when dispatching lost pet to the respective owners contact address,phone number or name shouldnt be disclose.And diplomatic delivery is best advised in delivery lost pet to there owners.Please send me your contact address and i shall make contact with any delivery company here and make arrangement to have your pet delivered to you..I will not demand for any Reward due to my Christian Faith and also the feeding which it has caused me in this few times i will not demand any penny as well but as soon as i make arrangement with the delivery company i will let you know and the cost to do that. I am believing that the Good lord leads us to success and i shall be more happy receiving your email that your pet has reached your home.I wait for your contact address in your next letter.I am getting ready for work now will check my email when am back. Do have a blissful day.

RegardGeorge.

I am completely dumbfounded at the fact that someone would use a tragic situation to try and scam someone out of whatever he is trying to get out of us. Especially since someone just saw my dog on Veale rd about an hour after this correspondence occurred. WTF is wrong with people??? Seriously! Take your "blissful day" and shove it up your ass, dickhead! I am so tempted to pay the $24.99 to do a reverse email address look-up and find this asshole and beat the living shit out of him! THIS is why I hate people!

oh...and by the way...before I could even finish writing this note, here is another email from someone else responding to my petfinder ad...

"Petfinder Classified Ads: you have received an email from: saffiyaadams46@yahoo.com. DEAR FRIEND, MY NAME IS MRS SAFFIYA MOLLY ADAMS A 71 YEAR OLD WOMAN FROM DUBLIN-IRELAND.I OWNED TWO BUSINESSES IN DOHAAND CAPEVERDE.IAM MARRIED WITH NO CHILDREN. MY HUSBAND DIED SIX YEARS AGO.SINCE I HAVE NO CHILDREN OF MY OWN, I DEVOTED MY TIME AND MONEY TO HELPING MOTHERLESS CHILDREN AND THE LESS PRIVILEDGED IN THE SOCIETY AROUND THE WORLD.

PRESENTLY, I AM RECEIVING TREATMENT IN A HOSPITAL IN WEST DUBLIN FOR LEUKEMIA AND THE DOCTORS TOLD ME THAT I HAVE FEW MONTHS TO LIVE.BEFORE I BECAME ILL, I HAVE SOME LARGE SUM OF MONEY AND IT IS DEPOSITED ABROAD WITH A FINANCE COMPANY.

NOW THAT I AM DYING I NEED SOMEONE WHOM I CAN ENTRUST WITH THIS MONEY AND WHO WILL HELP ME ENSURE THAT THESE FUND IS USED TO HELP THE LESS PRIVILEDGED AND MOTHERLESS CHILDREN.I AM BELIEVING THAT YOU WOULD OFFER THIS SERVICE FOR HUMANITY SAKE.IF YOU CAN HELP ME,PLEASE MAIL ME SO THAT I WILL GIVE YOU THE CONTACT DETAILS OF MY LAWYER HERE IN DUBLIN SO THAT YOU WILL DISCUSS WITH HIM ON HOW YOU WILL PROCESS AND RECEIVE THE FUNDS.

PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS MAIL IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE MUCH TIME BUT I AM ALWAYS WITH MY COMPUTER.I AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE. BEST REGARDS.MRS SAFFIYA MOLLY ADAMSREPLY TO EMAIL ADDRESS:saffiyaadams46@yahoo.com"

I HATE PEOPLE!

After gathering my thoughts....This was my response to 'George Evans"....

"I cannot even express to you enough the amount of disgust I have for you right now! You have turned a family's tragedy into an opportunity for a scam? You call yourself a "Christian"? You are the exact opposite of what a "Christian" is, you filthy. lying, piece of shit! I hope you rot in hell for what you are doing! By the way, learn how to spell and get you stories straight next time you send bullshit emails to people (One email says you just got home from work, 5 minutes later you say your just getting ready to go to work, and lets not mention how "In the past with similar cases the security there advised you to deliver the lost pet"- how many lost pets have you found, you fucking waste of human flesh? Are you running a business for finding lost pets?) Why would I pay to have my dog "delivered" to me? Any decent human being would be happy to make any kind of arrangement to return a lost animal to it's owner any way possible. It's people like you who are turning this world into the shit can of society! I hope you ROT with burning flesh in the depths of hell for eternity!!! Oh and by the way....Have a blissful fucking day, ASSHOLE!"

My Daily Horoscope - read it and weep NinjaBitches

Working within boundaries and restrictions could get to you today, Aries. Yours is an independent spirit, and your best achievements are often far above any morta soul. Like it or not,you are the hottest Ninja Ho EVER. You strike an uncanny resemblance to Miss AMerica and you are one of the most charismatic people in the world. You will find that friends adore you and want to buy you dinner and drinks at STanleys tonight. You friend people who are so not in your league, showing how lovely of a disposition you have. You never mention to your friends that they have horrible taste in clothing and shoes. You are probably the most excellent speller, on facebook. And your boyfriend rocks.

AnudderCast - Episode 4teen

AnudderCast - Episode 4teen

Harvest Seasonal Grill & Wine Bar is OPEN!

I have found my new hangout for the summer. I have been to Harvest twice and loved it both times. I love the fact that the menu isn’t carved in stone and changes daily, so I will never get bored. I love it that the items used to prepare the meals come fresh, from local farms, and the farms are listed at the top of the menu! I wasn’t sure that I loved the fact, actually had a moment of distress, when we were told that MOST of the items on the menu are 500 calories or less! THAT IS NEVER GOOD (when you love fatty pig fatty stuff like I do), but was not an issue here. I loved the atmosphere with its neutral earth tones, cool lighting and big roomy booths with lots of plants. The words "Give Love and Serve" hang over the open kitchen in great big block letters. Kinda random, but fun. ( I understand they went "Green" with the bar and it is made from recycled paper)

We started out with a DRINK, of course. Joe and I both ordered the Lavender Mojito. This drink was fantastic. Vanilla was the predominant flavor, mixed with a hint of lavender and mint making this drink so tasty, we had a few! Next was the Roasted Chicken Quesadilla. It was served fairly quickly and was really good. Joe ate most of it, of course. Being the lady I am, I just sipped (gulped) my drink and nibbled on a small piece. I ordered a veggie sandwich and Joe ordered a burger. The burger was big, juicy and by far the best burger either one of us have had. I wouldn't knock the veggie sandwich, it was also very good! Now, I forget, did I mention the Lavender mojito? The desert was very small, and I cant remember exactly what we got. We did have Lavender Mojitos, um, yea, they are THAT good.

On my second visit I had the Nutty Watermelon Salad which was very good, sweet and salty. I can see why it is a house favorite. I also had a few.... Lavender Mojitos, of course.

I say give this place a shot. Support local farmers, drink Lavender Mojitos and then go home and spend hundreds of dollars over the next few weeks perfecting your OWN Lavender Mojitos! I enjoyed the entire experience, the service was great and I am looking forward to going back.

Oh! It is incredibly difficult to find Vanilla RUM in your local liquor store! I had to master this drink at home. Joe drove me all around Wilmington and vicinity (about an hour and a half of driving. I get my mind set on something, and I don't quit until I get it) looking for it. I finally found it at liquor World on Milltown Road! THANKS JoeIE!

Give Love and Serve!

Luv,
AllieMac'Gina

Firestone Roasting House, No Thanks!

Firestone Roasting House on the Christina Riverfront opened its doors where CW Harborside used to be. Thank the outdoor boozing gods FireStone kept the outside bar/lounge area in tact and it will be opening the outside area tonight. From what I understand they have added a large wood-burning fireplace and char-pits to their sitting areas, so if it is chilly you can still enjoy the band and drink a few Hot Toddies!


The restaurant itself opened last week and features pizzas made in a stone roasting oven, steaks, prime rib, seafood, sandwiches and salads. They have a nice wine list and a fun bar menu. Joe and I went on Monday night and I was disappointed. I ordered a Cucumber Mint Gimlet and Joe ordered a Wide Awake Drunk ( HA, don't we all just want him to go to sleep at times, especially when he is drunk) and his drink came out in a timely fashion. MY drink however, took a good ten minutes, if not more. First I was told they were working on finding some fresh mint, then I was told they were slicing the cucumbers....when I did get my drink, it was terrible. Now in all fairness, it is made with Gin, and a lot of it, but I thought it would be minty and fresh. It was terrible. I sent it back and settled for a nice glass of Pinot Grigio.

For an appetizer we ordered CHICAGO style Spinach and Artichoke Dip. The only thing Chicago about this Dip was, well, um, nothing! OK, it did have a small side of sour cream and a small side of salsa. Joe and I decided THAT must be what made it Chicago style. Have you ever had TGIF spinach and artichoke dip out of the freezer section? Yup, basically the same thing. Pizza was next. We ordered one pizza, the special of the day, Buffalo Chicken style. It was good, but I wouldn't order it again. It is with a heavy heart (well it is a little lighter these days because of the Fatty Pig Fatty competition) that I inform you, we skipped desert. Didn't even look at the menu! PROGRESS!

To wrap this up, I did not like Firestone. I will not go back there on my own accord for dinner. I will go for the outside bar, and I will try their bar menu, I am sure, but if I want gourmet pizza (does pizza ever classify as gourmet?) a light, fun atmosphere and a meal worthy of the price, I will stick with Pizza By ELizabeths or Anthony's Coal Fired Pizza, the new place off of Route 202! THATS some kick ass pizza!

OH, and I am so excited because Harvest Restaurant in Glen Eagle Shopping Center, is now open. I am hoping to get there before I leave for Chicago, where I will be in restaurant HEAVEN!

Luv Ya,
AllieMac'Gina

OUTDOOR MUNCHERIES

There are so few places to go around here for dinner that include a NICE outside seating area and good food. It is that time of year, when I love to eat outside, enjoy a few beers, and just shoot the shit with good friends. I love sitting on my deck but my deck is a fine mess because I left it that way at the end of last summer. The plants are dead in their planters, there is a glass filled with beer caps that got left out from last summers starry romantic nights flipping them and I am missing seat cushions on a few of my chairs. So my fine deck with my fine cooking is OUT (oh yea, and I gave up my grill in the divorce, so no grill) I know a bunch of you are now disappointed that you wont get any of my excellent cooking!

SO where do you go? I have no clue. CW Harborsides deck isn't open yet,I like the outdoor ambiance but their food isn't very good. I don't care for the Trolley Square restaurants and I don't want to drive to Philly (although I do love Philly). I did hear that a new restaurant called Firestone Roasting House is opening on the waterfront May 13th. I checked out the website and it looks promising. Joe and I have been waiting patiently for Harvest Restaurant in Glen Eagle Shopping Center, right over the Delaware Pennsylvania line to open. I went online to see what I could find out about it and was mildly disappointed. Dave Magrogan, who owns the Kildare/Doc Magrogans restaurant chains, is opening it. I have been to Kildares in Newark and didn't really care for it. I am hoping, based on the looks of this new restaurant, it will be a totally different experience.....

We are headed to the beach again this weekend, fortunately there are plenty of outdoor places to eat and drink there. Hopefully, when we get home, some of the new places will be open and if not maybe you will invite me over to mess up your deck, flip your beer caps and eat your food.

Luv,
AllieMac'Gina!

LOL ....KINDA FITS WITH TODAYS THOUGHTS

A woman is at home. She hears someone knock at the door. She opens the door to see a man standing there.

He asks her, "'Do you have a vagina?" She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man. He asks the same question of her,

'Do you have a vagina?' She slams the door.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days.

He says to her in a loving and concerned voice, 'Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again'.

The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the door. The husband says to the wife

in a whispered voice, 'Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen. If it is the same guy I want you

to answer 'yes'. I want to see where he is going with it'. She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and he asks, *Do you have a vagina?' 'Yes' she says.

The man replies, 'Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours?'

DO WOMEN THINK THIS WAY?

I have had an ongoing debate with a man I know. I am at the end of my rope with it and am almost believing that maybe it is me. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe what I have known to be my beliefs are my beliefs, but not typically other women's......Here is what I know: men are pigs. They look at a woman and decide in the first two minutes whether they would f*%k her or not. (I am sorry, i know we are all adults here, but it is difficult for me to be so forward, or crude. I am acting like I didnt really say f*&k, although we all know i did) They look you over, and they size you up and they think....damn she is hot, I would bang her. This is not personal to the man, this is not an "I don't love and want the woman I am with" I just would F&*k YOU. This is one of those...WHAT? I was just looking (neglecting to say..."and thinking dirty, nasty thoughts" WHAT?)! This is not an actual thing they would do at the moment, but given enough opportunity, it would happen. THAT is what I believe. Men think with their yamsicles and sacks, want what they see, and have very little control.

Now, women, and here is my argument....we see a hot guy. We look at him and we think, damn, he is HOT. But, our VERY NEXT THOUGHT isn't...I want to bang him. Now, if I am single, I would find out if he is interested and maybe we could go out, then we would go out on some dates and we would get to know each other a bit..then , maybe, then, we would bang, but our initial thought wasn't...damn he is hot, i want to bang him. We CAN stop at, damn, he is hot! Now, if we are not single , our thought is damn , he is HOT. That's it...He is HOT! Whew....man, did you see him?! and we move on....we don't think like men. Maybe I am wrong. We do to a certain extent...but men don't exist to be our eye candy or sex toys. WE DO NOT THINK WITH OUR VAGINAS! THAT is all. Well, okay, maybe they are our sex toys.

It is very late, and I am tired of this debate, so, PLEASE LADIES and MEN.....chime in and tell me....am I right or wrong? I need to know for my own piece of mind.

I could go on and on about this, but you get the point. Now weigh in and tell me your thoughts! You know how I love to win, especially against a man. Oh yea, and I think pigs are adorable and have many redeemng qualities, so i dont want to insult pigs.

Love,
AllieMac'Gina!

FIRST ANNUAL FATTY PIG FATTY WEIGHT LOSS BATTLE ROYALE

The First Annual Fatty Pig Fatty Battle Royale began on April first. Fifteen people weighed in, hoping to cash in on the big prize of being crowned the First Fatty Pig Fatty winner, $260.00, a pack of tube socks and the bragging rights of losing the most weight, by percentage, in eight weeks. I personally am in it for the tube socks and the tierra. They will look fantastic with my bacon suit this summer. The bacon suit that I buy with my winnings.

I put this competition together for the sole purpose of helping myself. I am not a dieter, I don't particularly care for exercise and I hate to cook. The combination isn't good and has brought me to this FPF competition. I need to lose weight, so here I am. Eating rabbit food, sucking down enough water to make my teeth float every half hour and walking, and walking and walking. Jesus, all the walking.

So far everyone has lost weight. We are in week three and I have successfully sabotaged a few of the participants. Right now, I am offering a foil wrapped chocolate egg from Easter that I found on the ground while walking. It had been sitting by the curb for days, I couldn't let it go to waste.

I am taking a boot camp twice a week. It hurts and I don't like it. I eat a strict diet, that I must admit, does include Margaritas a few times a week (well, I added them to the diet) and i walk. I hate walking. I got caught in the rain today. I am not fond of any of this, but I will do it to the best of my ability. I am extremely competitive and refuse to lose, at anything. If i don't walk away the winner, shhh you didn't hear that, I will walk away lighter and healthier. So will 14 of my friends.


I do not cook. It is hard to diet when you do not cook. I do not like to exercise, it is hard to lose weight when you do not exercise. I do not want anyone to win but me, it is hard to be nice when someone else is winning. I do not like to walk, but running is worse, so I will walk.

Luv Ya,
AllieMac-Gina

Hot Tub Time Machine

Last night I went to see the movie, Hot Tub Time Machine. This is a movie, based on the title alone, I would not have gone to see on my own accord. I saw one or two previews for it, and thought it was going to be another one of those tits and ass movies that men enjoy and find highly entertaining, because men are neanderthals and have very small brains. The hot guy who asked me to go, sits through all my chick flicks, crying when appropriate, feeling me up when the lights go out, tolerating my Reese's Pieces and popcorn habit, and never complains about the floaties I leave in the soda, so I bit the bullet and went. I bitched a bit here and there, but figured I would at least be able to gloat when it was over, that it sucked, just like I said.

As much as I want to tell you it sucked, I cant. As much as I wanted to gloat, I couldn't. I was pleasantly surprised by the movie. I actually needed a good laugh and I got just that, a few times over. It isn't your typical time travel movie (the fact they travel in a hot tub gives that away). What I liked was that they went back in time, but decided NOT to change the past events, to preserve the future, by doing exactly what they did back in 1986, all over again.

This movie is funny. I love the cast and found Lou (Rob Corddry) to be the perfect asshole, and my favorite character. I loved the 80's music, and was reminded of our excellent fashion sense and hip hair-dos. Are ski-resorts as cool and hip as they were back then? I haven't been to a ski resort to party since the late 80's, but have fond memories. I am old, and they are too cold.

Ladies, I suggest you go to see this movie with your man. You will earn huge
honey - do points. Bitch and moan about going, that way he thinks you are doing him a big favor, tell him he owes you for this one, and when it is over sigh and say, "that wasn't so bad." It is a win-win situation, and we all know I love to win.

Here is a link that will tell you the details and some fun facts about the movie.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1231587

Let me know what you think, if you go!

Luv Ya,
AllieMac-Gina

Anudder Cast - Episode 5ive

Anudder Cast - Episode 5ive

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Anudder Cast - Episode 4our

Anudder Cast - Episode 4our

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I Challenge You, Fat Ass!

Why is it so hard to get your ass to the gym? I wouldn't mind being addicted to exercise, but of course I am addicted to all the bad shit in life. I am headed to the gym tonight, and I am dreading it, but what I dread more is putting on my summer clothes. I misbehaved all winter long. I did not take proper care of myself, and now it is time to pay the price.

I have to diet and exercise. There was a time, not too long ago, when I didn't have to do anything. I would eat what I wanted and just being active was enough to keep me looking fine. That is so not the case anymore. It takes me twenty minutes to eat a nice dish of pasta and three years to work it off. I still chase the ice cream man, and he comes around earlier and earlier each year. I have very little willpower.

My diet looks good. I went to the Cheesecake Factory Tuesday night with my son for my birthday. I went to Sullivan's with Joe last night and I will be going to the Cheesecake Factory again tonight with my family. Tomorrow night I am going to Lucky's for a special dinner and to the movies (love the candy and soda) with a kewl kid. Saturday I am supposed to go to Lancaster for a fun meal at a cool restaurant. Sunday I will have a salad. Pretty sure I will lose weight quickly with this schedule.

Well, I would love to challenge some of you to a Biggest Loser type of competition. As you can see from above, your chances of winning are pretty good. I find that I do well when I am competing, so I thought this might be a good idea, and give me that extra shove to get me really going. If you have some weight to lose and you are interested in winning a ten pack of tube socks (prize is negotiable), hit me up. I am open to any ideas or suggestions.

Luv ya,
AllieMac-Gina

Birthday

Tomorrow is my brithday. I used to be excited when I was younger and it was my birthday. I would make a birthday wish list, days, sometimes weeks in advance listing all the things I wanted (sometimes I included illustrations). I would change that list a few times, then finally hand it over to my mother, just knowing deep in my heart I was going to get everything on that list. Rabbits, a small plane (a glider would be fine) a puppy or the really cool dirtbike like my friend Johnny had.

On March 23rd, I would wake up, feeling that today was not like any other day. Today was my day. It was all about me. At school they would sing Happy Birthday to me. I would get a special gift from my teacher. I would get to be line leader, all day. I would be the one to take the milk money up to the cafateria and I would get to hold the flag during the Pledge of Allegiance, the possibilities were endless on my birthday! I would sit in class and daydream about the gifts waiting for me at home, maybe they will have the ENTIRE Pittsburgh Steelers there to sing to me this year. I could envision the plane sitting in my front yard or the rabbits running free all around my bedroom.

I knew there was a cake and there would be candles, although they were nowhere to be seen before I left for school that morning. I trusted the process, not like the Toothfairy bullshit. The Toothfairy was unreliable in my house, and sometimes left your money on the kitchen windowsill when you got home from school, it was rarely under my pillow with my bloody little chicklet tooth when I woke up. Anyway, back to my birthday. I had a few parties, but not many. I was the fourth child, out of five and my mother was just tired. But it didnt really matter. It was my day. I would have a little extra strut when I would get up to change the television (you had to actually get up and change it manually back then). I was Queen of the Universe that day (like my friend Sue would say) and I would just feel so damn happy.

The magic always happened right after dinner. We would eat, and then the cake would come with the candles. My brother and sisters would all have to sing to me, just me. My mom and dad would sing and I would look at all the candles and see everyone singing and I would be proud to be me. I remember how cool it was to be me that day. I would unwrap gifts, like Parcheesi or Life. I would tear the paper open, flip the birthday cards for money and be grateful for each and every gift. It didnt matter that I didnt get the plane, or the Steelers had a big game in "March" and couldnt make it to sing to me. I was just so happy that it was MY day, it was MY BIRTHDAY!

Tomorrow is *that* day. I will be celebrating my Forty second birthday and I still feel the excitement. I dont feel it like when I was a kid, but I feel it. I dont need a big production, or fancy gifts because I know what day it is and I know whose day it is. It is mine, and no matter how I spend it, I will enjoy it and I will be happy to be alive for one more day.

Thank you for all of my birthday wishes.

Luv Ya,
AllieMac-Gina

What I Did on my Facebook Vacation

Over the past year Facebook has been a great source of comedy relief and an excellent social outlet for me. It is a place where my warped sense of humor is acceptable and actually appreciated by some. It gave me something to do when there was nothing else to do. BUT, I recently noticed it started to become something * to * do, when there were other things to be done. It is more fun than going to the gym. It is way more fun than bathing or cleaning my house. And I prefer it to working any day. It is clear I have issues, so a few months ago I turned off all Facebook notifications to my cell and that helped a bit, kinda like a drunk switching from Whiskey to beer, but it was not enough.

A few weeks ago I temporarily deactivated my entire account for five days. I wanted to see what I would do with the time that I usually spent on Facebook and maybe take a break and see if I was becoming socially inept….. in real life. The fact that I had to DEACTIVATE my account, and couldn’t trust myself not to go look, well that raised a red flag right there. I knew I was on to something and the next five days could be more difficult then I anticipated.


The first night, I had to go back on “real quick” a few times for very important matters. I forgot to leave a message for hooter, or I had to make sure my status was correct while I was away. Such a good addict. I went to work and found myself thinking; maybe I should just forget this. I am sure I am missing all kinds of really fun stuff, but I stood my ground and persevered. The best part about day one and day two, I got text messages from fellow addicts, you know who you are, checking in to see how I was doing. Every text made me laugh and I realized I was going to be ok, except for one lil problem, JOE! Yes, JOE. Surprised? Didn’t think so.

Joe was that monkey on my shoulder. He was that lil voice that kept saying things like…hey guess what hooter said? Or hey, they made a BRING ALLIEMAC BACK page, or hey, they are all saying this or that. I started to see him as that local pusher on the corner, the one I used to get all my skittles from. I found myself having to look at his phone a few times, then feeling a little guilty, but only a little, remember I am addicted, and besides I decided to go on Facebook vacation, not him.

Well, I made it through the five days. Some people (some of the same ones who sent me texts) asked me how it was…you know, like, how was it out there in the real world? How did it go? Are you damaged, do we have you back all in one piece? Are you all religious and stuff now? I see the fear in their eyes when they ask., so let me tell you how it was. It had its pros and cons. I got stuff done. I paid more attention to whom I was with and what I was doing. I didn’t have to look like a deer in headlights when someone was speaking to me and I lost track of what they were saying, because I was checking my update \s on my phone. I got a shitton of work done at work. I cleaned my house, I bathed a few times and I enjoyed every minute at the beach. I shut my brain down and enjoyed quiet moments. I found that I was bored at times. I found that I did not laugh quite as often. I found that I missed all my friends. and I found that itch to draw assflowers and send them out to friends to be almost unbearable.

I do not suggest that you try this at home. The results are not typical. Not everyone will come back the same. I am lucky enough to have an addictive personality, so I made it back. YOU might not.

I do want to thank my Bring AlieMac back fan club. I ordered two hundred and fifty thousand of the rubber band bracelets, but have not received them. I think Gaskin and Gale Parrish are still working on my order? Thanks for all the text messages and thanks for all the support. You will all be getting assflowers and jimmy hats from me for your support (HA, jimmy hats)

Luv ya,
AllieMac-Gina

P.S. Next time I think I will take a *real* vacation.

Facebook- Gina-Post

In July of 2008 I filed for a divorce after 18 years of marriage. I would like to say that my life began to change then, but it actually started to change in October of 2008, when I had a total knee replacement, and was confined to my home for what was supposed to be five to six weeks (ha, me confined, that lasted about two and a half weeks) of recovery. I had a Facebook account that my sister set up for me in March of 2008. I never used it, never even logged on, until that October.

I was home for my second day of a long recovery, sitting in my living room chair, high as a kite on pain meds, all alone, because when you file for divorce, then have major surgery, your husband doesn’t really want to take care of you, and I didn’t dare ask for fear of being poisoned. SO, I was alone watching horrific morning shows on the television when I decided I could probably navigate around the Internet. I turned on my laptop, and saw the Facebook logo thingy. I decided to log on and check this shit out.

Up until October, I was a technotard with a bad knee and had NO experience with the Internet social scene. I basically went online to shop and check out my account balances (contrary to popular belief, I am not a frequent visitor of the porn sites) I looked around and somehow found Casey Oar, Stephanie Dickson and then Valerie Irons, gals I had gone to school with. I sent them a friend request and they accepted. Val Irons was my first real friend on here. She kept me company sometimes while I sat at home eating BonBons, wrapping my knee in ice and popping heavy pain meds. I then friend requested Phil Sabbato. See, I had a huge crush on him in middle school, and he never even knew it. (Sorry Phil, free speech).

I started getting requests from people I hadn’t seen in forever, and was now addicted. I will never forget the first time I friend requested someone and kept checking to see if they accepted, my palms would be all sweaty, my heart would be racing, I would wonder if I had made a huge mistake…just kidding. ! I remember being defriended my first time, my friend “baby man” left, no explanation, just up and defriended me. I was heart broken and felt a great sense of loss. He was my hook up at drunk pottery and I still miss him.

Over the next year, tons of shit changed in my life, and Facebook was always there to make me smile, make me laugh uncontrollably, make me feel dirty, make me feel like an ass, or to just make me feel connected. I have made new friends, gotten to know old friends, friended a puppet by the name of Reverend Leroy Johnson and have a wonderful friend in New Zealand, whose name is Monty. I have reconnected with people I didn’t think I would see again, a few I didn’t WANT to see again, and I have made a few very close friends that I cherish and value their friendship. Hootie, and my Ninja bitches and bitch, I love you!

I have come to know a new language over the past year. Words that I have made up, some, my friends have made up, some come from god knows where, and some my friend Joe McCabe is known to use quite often. Just to make a point of how much I have changed and my life has changed, here is a list I have compiled. It is a list of words that I could have never imagined being a part of my vocabulary It is our own special language, used in our lil facebook community, by myself and many of my very sick and disturbed friends. I hope you enjoy my list, cuz it makes me laugh like hell. I love to read it to my personal assistant at work,. She just walks away, shaking her head. So here ya go……


LSHIF Laughed so hard I farted
Huckleberrieasstard
Muther focker
Fluck
WTF What the fuck
WTH What the hell
ROFWOP rolling on the floor without panties
LSHIPAL laughed so hard I pooped a little
Lol@Joe
Collagen injected penis
Berry beer
Drunk pottery
Floating
Summertime datillos
p-90 and how hard it is
pubic toupe
Ron on Tuesdays
defreind, friended, milk carton friend
Asstard, fucktard, typotard, spelltard, technotard
Various tards
Assclown
douchebaggery
Yamsicles
Ninja Hos (pink ninja, green ninja, cotton candy pink ninja, red ninja and black ninja)
Homotron
Fuckyoudzedzyandthehorseyourodeinon
Lickmystinkybuttfinger
JM&J
Leroy Bunion
Party hat leroy
Bitch wine
Beer wine
Dave Fishers ASS PALM
Hookas
WalMart Hookas
Holla
Woot
felching
Hooterberries
Lol
Private Messaging
Chatting
Blue lightning
Self portraits
Bathroom portraits
snowballing
Wang a merman
Chuckles
Carlton
ASSFLOWERS
AllieMac
ShellieMac
MissieMac
SuzieMac
Tree stalking
Angry dragon
Panty stealing
oh yea, and I have an entirely different outlook on videos, I only watched HOME videos before facebook
Various characters made with the keyboard…

TTYL.
AllieMac-Gina

Facebook-And How It is Changing My World

In July of 2008 I filed for a divorce after 18 years of marriage. I would like to say that my life began to change then, but it actually started to change in October of 2008, when I had a total knee replacement, and was confined to my home for what was supposed to be five to six weeks (ha, me confined, that lasted about two and a half weeks) of recovery. I had a Facebook account that my sister set up for me in March of 2008. I never used it, never even logged on, until that October.

I was home for my second day of a long recovery, sitting in my living room chair, high as a kite on pain meds, all alone, because when you file for divorce, then have major surgery, your husband doesn’t really want to take care of you, and I didn’t dare ask for fear of being poisoned. SO, I was alone watching horrific morning shows on the television when I decided I could probably navigate around the Internet. I turned on my laptop, and saw the Facebook logo thingy. I decided to log on and check this shit out.

Up until October, I was a technotard with a bad knee and had NO experience with the Internet social scene. I basically went online to shop and check out my account balances (contrary to popular belief, I am not a frequent visitor of the porn sites) I looked around and somehow found Casey Oar, Stephanie Dickson and then Valerie Irons, gals I had gone to school with. I sent them a friend request and they accepted. Val Irons was my first real friend on here. She kept me company sometimes while I sat at home eating BonBons, wrapping my knee in ice and popping heavy pain meds. I then friend requested Phil Sabbato. See, I had a huge crush on him in middle school, and he never even knew it. (Sorry Phil, free speech).

I started getting requests from people I hadn’t seen in forever, and was now addicted. I will never forget the first time I friend requested someone and kept checking to see if they accepted, my palms would be all sweaty, my heart would be racing, I would wonder if I had made a huge mistake…just kidding. ! I remember being defriended my first time, my friend “baby man” left, no explanation, just up and defriended me. I was heart broken and felt a great sense of loss. He was my hook up at drunk pottery and I still miss him.

Over the next year, tons of shit changed in my life, and Facebook was always there to make me smile, make me laugh uncontrollably, make me feel dirty, make me feel like an ass, or to just make me feel connected. I have made new friends, gotten to know old friends, friended a puppet by the name of Reverend Leroy Johnson and have a wonderful friend in New Zealand, whose name is Monty. I have reconnected with people I didn’t think I would see again, a few I didn’t WANT to see again, and I have made a few very close friends that I cherish and value their friendship. Hootie, and my Ninja bitches and bitch, I love you!

I have come to know a new language over the past year. Words that I have made up, some, my friends have made up, some come from god knows where, and some my friend Joe McCabe is known to use quite often. Just to make a point of how much I have changed and my life has changed, here is a list I have compiled. It is a list of words that I could have never imagined being a part of my vocabulary It is our own special language, used in our lil facebook community, by myself and many of my very sick and disturbed friends. I hope you enjoy my list, cuz it makes me laugh like hell. I love to read it to my personal assistant at work,. She just walks away, shaking her head. So here ya go……


LSHIF Laughed so hard I farted
Huckleberrieasstard
Muther focker
Fluck
WTF What the fuck
WTH What the hell
ROFWOP rolling on the floor without panties
LSHIPAL laughed so hard I pooped a little
Lol@Joe
Collagen injected penis
Berry beer
Drunk pottery
Floating
Summertime datillos
p-90 and how hard it is
pubic toupe
Ron on Tuesdays
defreind, friended, milk carton friend
Asstard, fucktard, typotard, spelltard, technotard
Various tards
Assclown
douchebaggery
Yamsicles
Ninja Hos (pink ninja, green ninja, cotton candy pink ninja, red ninja and black ninja)
Homotron
Fuckyoudzedzyandthehorseyourodeinon
Lickmystinkybuttfinger
JM&J
Leroy Bunion
Party hat leroy
Bitch wine
Beer wine
Dave Fishers ASS PALM
Hookas
WalMart Hookas
Holla
Woot
felching
Hooterberries
Lol
Private Messaging
Chatting
Blue lightning
Self portraits
Bathroom portraits
snowballing
Wang a merman
Chuckles
Carlton
ASSFLOWERS
AllieMac
ShellieMac
MissieMac
SuzieMac
Tree stalking
Angry dragon
Panty stealing
oh yea, and I have an entirely different outlook on videos, I only watched HOME videos before facebook
Various characters made with the keyboard…

TTYL.
AllieMac-Gina

The Journey To Thin: Entry 2

When we last left off, I started my journey to thin
30lbs in and 3 months later, I started to think, "This isn’t so bad, I can really do this!"…."WOW, I can carry the laundry up the stairs without being out of breath!". I could still go out and enjoy myself AND still lose weight. I was sleeping better, and I was feeling good!
Then my boyfriend, realizing that I was doing it and still enjoying myself started his own journey to walk beside mine. He also had no idea he was over 300LBS….we both needed to save ourselves!

SO, Spring came…and having shed almost 50 lbs by then, I decided to start walking. I walked 3 times a week, 3 miles at a time..…. and you know what?

I loved it! I could walk and not have to stop, not have to make excuses!
That ankle injury? Never came up.
My sprained knee? Never knew it was there!
I even walked in my first 5K…with some wonderful friends beside me who were runners. They walked right by my side the whole way, and didn’t even let me finish last! Then I walked another...and another…and started improving my time! I was walking in the park with coworkers after work and there was a gigantic hill...when we started walking, we said.. "Oh my, we will never make it up that hill!" But one day we said, "Lets do the hill"… and we did!!
When the weather turned cold in October, our routine WAS that hill..not once, but TWICE!

I then joined a gym. I remember during those walks we’d laugh at the runners and say "Man, they look like they are in pain.. we are never running!!".
At the gym?....I run for 10 minutes of my hour walk now!
T
his journey has taken me through so many emotions. I almost laugh that I choose a salad over a cheese steak now, and Im HAPPY about it! I COOK at home, with veggies and protein, and I even know what those things are now!!!!
I used to say… I EAT NOTHING GREEN!!! Now... I can’t think of too many green things that I don’t eat. (Okay brussell sprouts.. but I just might try them one day). I have learned so much from Weight Watchers and the leadership at the meetings. Eating right and changing your lifestyle WILL save your life, and change it in so many ways....like the first time I went into the plus size store and the smallest size was too big!

You can’t go into a restaurant and order a "BOXED WEIGHT LOSS MEAL" please...but you CAN order a meal that’s healthy. And thats what I have learned.. to make better choices, to put myself first…and my health first.
And be happy about it.

SURE, I’ve been tempted, and I do give in every now and then....beer and nachos, anyone?
SURE I’ve had a few gains along the way (my biggest gain being 2lbs.), but I know how to fix it, and I've learned that its OKAY.

I remember going to a wedding after only losing 40 lbs, and I cried because I ate the whole dinner.....AND the dessert...and oh yea, some appetizers too.....and yep, a few beers too. But Nick came up to me and said "HON, you have been so good.. you deserve to splurge! I'ts only once…you will be fine tomorrow!". I would have been scared, but he was right.
And you know what?
I lost 4 lbs that week!...and I have continued to treat myself every now and then. I SO enjoy how it tastes...but I know that I've had what I craved and Im still OKAY.
Its all okay.

~Steff Dickson

Men and Feminine Hygiene Products

I have always wondered why men have such an aversion to purchasing feminine hygiene products. It's not like we're asking them to use their bare hands and scoop up a pile of used ones. The ones you purchase are clean, and neatly wrapped in the manufacturers box. Do they think it is a violation of their manhood? Do they think the store clerk is looking at them thinking "Oh....he's a Trany". Or "Oh...wonder what he's going to do with those?". No, the store clerk thinks.."Oh...what a nice guy, he's got a wife or girlfriend and he's man enough to buy these for them". So, if anything, it would be a definite "Non-gay" plug to boost their ego.
Mark has always been great about buying them, and...... he always gets the right kind. Which is a big plus considering he has to stand in the isle, reading the boxes, while all the other men walk past thinking "Oh...he's a Trany" or "Oh...wonder what he's going to do with those". My brother, on the other hand, is one of those guys who would rather die a slow death being stabbed with hot pokers and having his eyes pecked out by parasite infested vultures, then to buy a box of Tampons. Yet, these same men think nothing of buying Jock itch cream, or hemorrhoidal ointment when they need it. Now THAT would be something for the store clerks to have a field day with, once they left the store. If I were the clerk in the store, I would be much more inclined to be attracted to a guy who would buy a feminine hygiene product for a female in need, then one buying jock itch cream!
So guys, next time you see a hot store clerk that you're trying to pick-up, buy a box of tampons and tell her it's for your sister. You'll have a much better chance to score than if she thinks you have a Hemorrhoid tumor sticking out of your ass, or an itchy "Member". Just sayin......

Dear Dad....(this made me chuckle today)

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I am writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older
than I am. But it' s not only the passion... Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the
whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children together.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for herpes so Stacy can get better... She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can
get to know your grandchildren..

Love, Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a
report card. That's in my center desk drawer.
I love you...
Call me when it's safe to come home.

The Journey To Thin: Entry One

DECEMBER 24, 2008 –

I walked in to the Doctors office for a follow up visit after I was hospitalized for a serious skin infection and that visit spurred me to change my life. The Doctor spoke very frankly to me, and said.. "Stephanie, you had a serious infection that you could have lost your leg… you’re very lucky to be walking in here". I nodded, and what he said next changed my life, "You are very overweight, and have poor circulation, if you don’t change something, you will end up like those old people you see with gigantic swollen ankles – unable to walk. YOU can change this Stephanie, so this doesn’t happen.. and you know you can do it."

You know what? He was right.
I could.
I had always known I was “Heavy” even calling myself “Big Boned” through the years, but I had no idea.
I guess everyone has an internal vision of what they look like, and I thought I looked fine...."cute" even.

And I was always happy. 

I even used to say I’d rather be fat and "Happy", than thin and MISERABLE!
Meanwhile...I just keep ignoring ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the signs, making excuses for everything. "OH, I can’t walk that far, I have an old ankle injury, Im sorry, can you park closer, I must have slept wrong, my back hurts".
Chest pain?..."Oh, I must have eaten something that didn’t agree with me……. Honey, can you carry this up the stairs for me? I think I sprained my knee."
Literally, I couldn’t walk the length of the boardwalk in Rehoboth without stopping two or three times! I said I was people watching.
Truthfully?....I couldn’t walk any more. It hurt. EVERYTHING hurt!
Of course it wasn’t because I WAS FAT, I was sure of it!!!!!

I had tried diets before, never worked.
Gained everything back and then some.
Gained forty pounds…. Of course it was because I quit smoking, or whatever else I could come up with.
Gained 20 lbs?, "Oh, it must be because I changed medicines.". I almost even believed myself at times. It sounded good to me!. My mother would beg me to lose weight, even offered to pay for it, told me I was going to die.. I said.. "MOM!! I’m HEALTHY...a little heavy, but I'm HEALTHY!!! PLEASE STOP BUGGING ME!!"
And then I went and ate a pizza, or a burger… or whatever else I could find…

I walked out of that Doctors office determined. I was going to do something this time….

Here at work, Weight Watchers was starting in January. "That’s it!", I told myself...."This is it. Its time. Im ready."
So I stepped on the scale January 5th 2009 at saw what it said....
308.2 lbs.
WHAT? Seriously, there is something wrong there.. how did that happen? Are you sure?!?!?!?
But sadly….It was right. That number was correct.
WOW. This happened just in time….Im going to change me.
FOR ME!!

~Steff Dickson

The After Holiday Blues

There's something anticlimactic about stockings with empty wrappers sticking out, a Christmas tree with empty boxes under it and a new years resolution that entails exercise and eating right. Like so many people, I am feeling that "after holiday blues" this year. It has been 3 days since I have wanted to get out of bed. Well, I never WANT to get out of bed, especially when there is someone warm to snuggle with that wears black socks to bed, but these past few days have been nearly impossible to drag myself up. The feeling of sadness weighs me down and I feel no real sense of purpose.

My sole purpose for the past few weeks had been to shop (always, always, always makes me happy) for gifts that I felt would make other people happy. I get so excited and can't wait to give that perfect gift, when I feel I have found it. I decorate the tree with my son, put up all the holiday decorations and beg everyone I know to bake me cookies. I get together with my family and loved ones and reminisce. I laugh and feel happy throughout December and always enjoy New Years Eve, no matter how I spend it. Sometimes, I help a friend pick up one acorn or one leaf (you know who you are) or I shovel an old ladies sidewalk. It is the most festive time of the year. It is my most selfless time.

I think the feelings of , what just happened, where did all the fun go, I can't get that special shopping high anymore, nobody is cooking me extravagant meals, was delayed because I went to the beach for New Years and prolonged the festive spirit until January 3rd. I thought maybe I had missed the after holiday blues this year. HA, yea, no such luck. Reality has a way of creeping back in. The party time is over. There are boxes of trash, wrapping paper rolls strewn about, a dying tree in the corner and gifts to be taken back ( hey, i miss the mark on that perfect gift sometimes). And then there are the bills. I always spend too much at Christmas. ALWAYS.

To try and break free from this "after holiday blues" I remind myself of how happy I was when I spent that small fortune, how good it felt to just pig out and how many smiling faces I got to look at as they opened their gifts. I look at that tree in the corner and wonder if maybe I shouldn't just go Green and leave it sitting there, like it is a house plant, not bothering to remove it. I tell myself how next year I will make every ones gifts (LOL, that thought alone just cheered me up. The look on your face as you realize I tried to make you something, cuz I am an artistic and domesticated goddess). As of right now, these thoughts are working. I am starting to feel better today. My son is home after a week long trip to Florida. I know that the trash will be removed and my house will be back in order. I know that Joe will cook for me and wear nothing but his Christmas apron, if I get sad and need a good meal.

This has been a wonderful holiday season. I am always sad to see it end, but I will now start to look forward to Valentines Day and warm cozy nights spent quietly with people I love. I am feeling grateful for my family and loved ones, and am happy that this holiday season was spent with them, people that I know will be in my life forever, in one way or another.

I know that I am not the only one going through this "after holiday blues" and I know that this will pass, but I thought I would let you all know, that if you are feeling that sadness or depression, I feel it too, and with each day, it has gotten better. Writing this alone has made me feel much happier!

xoxoxox

AllieMac 'Gina

My Very First 'Gina-Post

I don't actually know what it is called when you write on a blog, but I am sure someone will tell me, as many of my friends are into this stuff. For me, right now, I will call this passage my first 'GINA -POST!

I have bragged to Joe on a few occasions (usually when intoxicated) that I could have a blog, and that if I did have one I would write/post on it (that's the key here, actually posting shit), and maintain it. He is always encouraging, and it was no different with this. He set up Blog-gina for me, my friends and all the ladies out there...so we could come here and bitch about men and life, rant, cry, laugh, giggle and share ourselves, our daily lives, struggles, accomplishments, bullshit, and anything we want, with one another and anyone else who cares to listen! (god knows men suck at listening, but that's a 'gina-post for another day)

We subject many of you to our insanity, love, laughter, tears, and silly ways on a daily basis, through Facebook. That is as much as I ever share about myself. I have never kept a diary or written in a journal. I was always too afraid someone might find it and commit me for my utterly insane and twisted thoughts! With a blog, I am in control of what I tell you, and i don't need to keep anything hidden under my pillow with a lock and hearts on it, fearing one day to find the lock broken and a man holding up a white jacket for me to slip on. A blog in my mind is a place to write about whatever you want, however you want and whenever you want. I like that idea. I am one more person who feels that my shit is so important, that YOU must want to read it.

HA! My first blog was going to to be a list of my top-ten pet peeves, but I just got all sidetracked and wrote about blogging Blog-gina style here, so I will only subject you to my top FIVE pet peeves.... here they are. Not in any particular order, because I find them all equally annoying!

Men that cant figure out how to put the new toilet paper roll
back on the toilet paper holder, so they just leave it on the counter for the toilet paper fairy to do it!

Skinny people that complain that they are fat

People who will not "friend" people on Facebook.......YOU MUST FRIEND THEM.....puhleeeeeaaassssseee!

Of course, when the toilet seat is left in the UP position....when will they come up with a toilet seat that lowers itself after 1 minute? or better yet one that reminds you ...hey fuckleberrieasstard, you left the seat up!

And finally, backseat drivers

Maybe this year, I will eliminate some of these pet-peeves by working on my patience, or maybe I should just eliminate the people who do these things! THAT sounds much more fun!

I hope that you all take advantage of this site! I have no idea how to end a 'gina-post, so I will just end this one with.......Happy New Year, to all my friends with vaginas!

WOOT , HOLLA AND BLOG Bitches!

WOOT, HOLLA AND BLOG bitches!!!!!!!!!!!

Holla Hookas!

Steph is in the house.....