Birthday

Tomorrow is my brithday. I used to be excited when I was younger and it was my birthday. I would make a birthday wish list, days, sometimes weeks in advance listing all the things I wanted (sometimes I included illustrations). I would change that list a few times, then finally hand it over to my mother, just knowing deep in my heart I was going to get everything on that list. Rabbits, a small plane (a glider would be fine) a puppy or the really cool dirtbike like my friend Johnny had.

On March 23rd, I would wake up, feeling that today was not like any other day. Today was my day. It was all about me. At school they would sing Happy Birthday to me. I would get a special gift from my teacher. I would get to be line leader, all day. I would be the one to take the milk money up to the cafateria and I would get to hold the flag during the Pledge of Allegiance, the possibilities were endless on my birthday! I would sit in class and daydream about the gifts waiting for me at home, maybe they will have the ENTIRE Pittsburgh Steelers there to sing to me this year. I could envision the plane sitting in my front yard or the rabbits running free all around my bedroom.

I knew there was a cake and there would be candles, although they were nowhere to be seen before I left for school that morning. I trusted the process, not like the Toothfairy bullshit. The Toothfairy was unreliable in my house, and sometimes left your money on the kitchen windowsill when you got home from school, it was rarely under my pillow with my bloody little chicklet tooth when I woke up. Anyway, back to my birthday. I had a few parties, but not many. I was the fourth child, out of five and my mother was just tired. But it didnt really matter. It was my day. I would have a little extra strut when I would get up to change the television (you had to actually get up and change it manually back then). I was Queen of the Universe that day (like my friend Sue would say) and I would just feel so damn happy.

The magic always happened right after dinner. We would eat, and then the cake would come with the candles. My brother and sisters would all have to sing to me, just me. My mom and dad would sing and I would look at all the candles and see everyone singing and I would be proud to be me. I remember how cool it was to be me that day. I would unwrap gifts, like Parcheesi or Life. I would tear the paper open, flip the birthday cards for money and be grateful for each and every gift. It didnt matter that I didnt get the plane, or the Steelers had a big game in "March" and couldnt make it to sing to me. I was just so happy that it was MY day, it was MY BIRTHDAY!

Tomorrow is *that* day. I will be celebrating my Forty second birthday and I still feel the excitement. I dont feel it like when I was a kid, but I feel it. I dont need a big production, or fancy gifts because I know what day it is and I know whose day it is. It is mine, and no matter how I spend it, I will enjoy it and I will be happy to be alive for one more day.

Thank you for all of my birthday wishes.

Luv Ya,
AllieMac-Gina