I have had an ongoing debate with a man I know. I am at the end of my rope with it and am almost believing that maybe it is me. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe what I have known to be my beliefs are my beliefs, but not typically other women's......Here is what I know: men are pigs. They look at a woman and decide in the first two minutes whether they would f*%k her or not. (I am sorry, i know we are all adults here, but it is difficult for me to be so forward, or crude. I am acting like I didnt really say f*&k, although we all know i did) They look you over, and they size you up and they think....damn she is hot, I would bang her. This is not personal to the man, this is not an "I don't love and want the woman I am with" I just would F&*k YOU. This is one of those...WHAT? I was just looking (neglecting to say..."and thinking dirty, nasty thoughts" WHAT?)! This is not an actual thing they would do at the moment, but given enough opportunity, it would happen. THAT is what I believe. Men think with their yamsicles and sacks, want what they see, and have very little control.
Now, women, and here is my argument....we see a hot guy. We look at him and we think, damn, he is HOT. But, our VERY NEXT THOUGHT isn't...I want to bang him. Now, if I am single, I would find out if he is interested and maybe we could go out, then we would go out on some dates and we would get to know each other a bit..then , maybe, then, we would bang, but our initial thought wasn't...damn he is hot, i want to bang him. We CAN stop at, damn, he is hot! Now, if we are not single , our thought is damn , he is HOT. That's it...He is HOT! Whew....man, did you see him?! and we move on....we don't think like men. Maybe I am wrong. We do to a certain extent...but men don't exist to be our eye candy or sex toys. WE DO NOT THINK WITH OUR VAGINAS! THAT is all. Well, okay, maybe they are our sex toys.
It is very late, and I am tired of this debate, so, PLEASE LADIES and MEN.....chime in and tell me....am I right or wrong? I need to know for my own piece of mind.
I could go on and on about this, but you get the point. Now weigh in and tell me your thoughts! You know how I love to win, especially against a man. Oh yea, and I think pigs are adorable and have many redeemng qualities, so i dont want to insult pigs.
Love,
AllieMac'Gina!
Here are comments I have received from some very good male friends.......
ReplyDelete1. You already know the answer to this- women unwittingly test men and make immediate judgments. By not telling us when you are testing us, you are being pigs.
2. I cannot speak for anyone else but myself Allie, because I would not dare think that I could accurately represent the thoughts and motivations of any other. However, I admit, that since I was very young, I would (and still do) look and decide ÿes", "no" or "maybe", and thereafter apply a moral code with the Yes' and maybe's. My moral code works on the basis that I will not break any current relationship point blank. That means; if I am in a relationship; nothing happens. If she is in a relationship, nothing happens. If I am in a position of implied power/authority; nothing happens. Essentially I operate to a hardened set of rules which are inviolate, and that is where the control is set from my point. By my reckoning, I would much rather go through life, as a person that can be trusted, relied upon to act with integrity, and most of all remembered as a person that respected others. Accordingly the "code" is far more complex than what I have outlined here; but I apply unfailingly to my daily activity and it hasnt let me down.
This does not however, stop me from saying what I think. There is no harm in telling someone that they look "Hot". Why not it it's the truth and can be a lot of fun. The harm only happens if you act upon it and hurt people along the way. That would be most uncool.
Sorry for long drawn out answer. I hope this helps your dilemma, and perhaps enlightens you that some humble men like Robert and me do indeed operate robust and successful controls for what is an inherent gender trait.
I do believe it is an inherent gender trait. I do believe men can control their actions. I really do believe that. SOME men, not sure I believe the majority of men would or can, if given opportunity. My real argument, is that women do not look at a hot guy and the first thought is of sleeping with him. We have a different thought process.
ReplyDeleteYou are right about the tests. But I like acing my tests, and I'm sure you do too!!
ReplyDeleteAre men pigs? In general I would say yes. We are product of testosrome driven pack mentality and unfortunately this is inherent to our nature. But, I also think its up to the invidual male to what level he chooses to engagae in such behavior. That is to say, that a man, a real man conducts himself with honor and good taste. He is as much a product of his up bringing as he is pre-disposed to stereotypical male behavior. Now, that isnt to say that such a male is quivering over senstive individual who lies at womens foot. By no means. It simply means respect. Respect for oneself and those around them regardless of sex. More often than not men are indoctrinated into a sytem that has a very limited spectrum of possible lines of thoughts, emotions and behavior. We are taught at young age that there is what its means to be male. Our role models, our parents, our friends and this is further reinforced by society/culture. Anything else would be opposite, wrong and feminate and this is further reinforced by our interactions with opposite sex. I am sorry lady's but not one of you would want a male who would start crying becuase your car wouldn't start. It's so easy to generalize and say "oh men are pigs" or this or that or women are this or that - and often we all fall prey to those definitions. Unfortunately womena re as equally to blame as women simply due to matter of consistancy. There are women who embrace the male pig concept and there are women who dont. Men can be taught that "this is proper conduct" in respect to opposite sex or even thee correct way of doing things (ie picking up after oneself, not being a slob in general etc etc etc) but its up the external women in a mans life to reinforce this behavior and simply there isnt a constant and consistent reinforecement thru out a mans life. There are women that allow and foster poor behavior for there own reasons - matters of conditioning, self esteem etc etc etc. And again society is all too willing to promote the sterotypical - we are fed a steady diet of T/A, chest pounding bravado, men acting badly that it becomes norm - becuase it feeds into our primortial nature and basically "sex sells". Women: stop blaming men for your own bad taste. Men: show some class and respect. Everyone: honor each other and the differences between the sexes. Remember that are all to blame.
ReplyDeleteNow, back that ass up and give daddy some love.
HA. OK, so far I have men responding. I will post the few women respnses I have, but they arent in detail. I agree with back that ass up man. It is respect. I dont believe, though, that WOMENS initial thought is...he is hot, I would bang that. I KNOW it is a mans first thought. BUT, do you believe it is a womans?
ReplyDeleteI think its indvidual - some women are pre-disposed to sex as are some men
ReplyDeleteI am learning that yuu might be right. THAT is what the debate has been about and it drives me crazy.
ReplyDeleteAgain its conditioning, self-respect, homormes, "how someone is wired" . The basic instinct at play is reproduction. We are wired that sex = pleasure - simply becuase its advantageous for the specie to reproduce. This is sublimated into the human psyche - where set of milk bags is used to sell a bottle of coke. Men think yeah nice ta ta's. But what is really happening is a primitive inclination to find a mate that will be a good breeder - to raise offspring. A large chest means more milk. This of course varies per the indvidiual and culturally. What we find attractive or what we lust after is tied directly to the survival of species. And, of course, this attarctiveness can take numerous forms - intellignece, work ethic, hair color, persoinal grooming, physical fitness, money etc etc. they are all sublimated instinct drives
ReplyDeleteAgain its conditioning, self-respect, homormes, "how someone is wired" . The basic instinct at play is reproduction. We are wired that sex = pleasure - simply becuase its advantageous for the specie to reproduce. This is sublimated into the human psyche - where set of milk bags is used to sell a bottle of coke. Men think yeah nice ta ta's. But what is really happening is a primitive inclination to find a mate that will be a good breeder - to raise offspring. A large chest means more milk. This of course varies per the indvidiual and culturally. What we find attractive or what we lust after is tied directly to the survival of species. And, of course, this attarctiveness can take numerous forms - intellignece, work ethic, hair color, persoinal grooming, physical fitness, money etc etc. they are all sublimated instinct drives
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with this and have had several discussions/debates with MaRRk over this same subject. I know MaRRk would never act on these thoughts, but he has them. Matter of fact, he comments on these thoughts out loud to me (cause we are BFF's). From the 18 yr old ( with a Body to kill for) at the deli counter, to Sarah's 3 rd grade teacher, to Kerry Lee on Fox news. He usually comments "I would do her, would you?" Wishing he would get a response from me of "Oh hell yeah, let's bring her home!" But his comments are usually met from me with with a curled lip, Sigh of utter disgust while shaking my head and a comment of "your such a pig".
ReplyDeleteI have seen many a hot men in my day and had many opportunities to act on the hot men's thoughts (back in 1990 B.C.- Before Children) but it was never the first thing to cross my mind.
I have been in relationships with men who do act out on these thoughts and cheat and have given me the excuse of..."It was just sex, what's the big deal?" HUH? Really? Is it only a big deal if you go for seconds? Yet these same men have given me the whole "sex is the way I show you I love you" bullshit too.
I think that testosterone is a chemical that links the penis to the brain and gives selective answers based on the situation. I believe that women truly do have a more advanced thought process and weigh out options before acting on them. Even with things as irrelevant as reading directions FIRST, before putting something together. For men, everything is black and white. If you look at the animal kingdom...the males is always brightly colored, doing some kind of romantic dance to woo the female into allowing him to procreate with her. The females have a chance to watch the whole fiasco and say "hmmmm, nope you are really pretty and all with all your colors, but, I really don't think so...NEXT?" The males don't even give a shit what the female looks like, he just knows he wants to mount her!
So, yes, unfortunately, I believe that all men are pigs. I don't believe they can control their thoughts, but I do believe they can control their actions, If they want to.
The gentlememn I have had this debate with, says that I am crazy if I dont think women think the same thing. I dont think we do, well not in the same way or same ORDER! WOmen dont go around wanting to bang men. Well, not all the time. Not initially. Women do want men. Women do want to have sex. I do believe more and more women are doing what men are doing. They are sleeping around, doing what they want to do. BUT, i dont think the initial response, standing behind a man in the check out line at the Target is....i want to tap that! I dontt hgink women walk around thinking about sex and how hot or not hot each man is that cross our paths. Women do want the same thing from men that men want from women. We just dont want it from every man we encounter that is good looking. And we dont size each man up that we see.....tappable...not tappable.....would tap it anyway though.
ReplyDeleteI think women do look at men and think wow "he's hot" but we have an over drive that thinks right after our initial statement of "he is hot" and whispers "I wonder if he would make a good faithful mate".
ReplyDeleteTo where men just initially say "she is hot and I want that" no whisper! The guy up there is right it's based on a man's wiring and up bringing on how he reacts and conducts those feelings! Unfortunately the boys of today were not brought up to gentleman ways and the generations are just getting more whoreish if I can say that!
men and women are equally more whoreish, and we men are more than happy to oblige - testostrone driven ethusiasm. but look at mtv real world - went from social experiement to who can be the biggest most outrageous whore and its popular. ahhh declining moral values
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic. My husband is welcome to openly make comments about women to me; she's beautiful, look at that rack, she has a nice butt- all sorts of stuff. It doesn't bother me because I know our relationship is solid. Hell, sometimes I comment right along with him. I don't often make the comments about men because, quite frankly, I just don't look at men like that...unless it's Harry Connick, Jr. He was on A.I. last night and I all but slobbered all over the remote. He just does it for me. BOY did my husband not like it! He was told to get over it quietly so I could hear Harry on tv.
ReplyDeleteI don't necessarily think men are pigs, I just think they're programmed differently. When I think of getting in my pool this summer, I'm thinking about floating, relaxing and having fun with my girlfriends. He's wondering if we'll all be naked. I have about as much of a chance changing his basic nature as I do building a spaces shuttle. So for me, I accept that is the way HE is and move along. If he was going to cheat, he would have by now. He has plenty of opportunity.
I think we are emotional (women in general) where men are more logical. I also think it's in their nature to procreate (hence my 6 kids) They are also visual, so literally anything that bounces they look at. I do believe they can control their actions because they are committed to you
ReplyDeleteErmm Allie..I have with some degree of confidence and authority that there are three women who did not have your thought process in mind when first met. Just saying..
ReplyDeleteI love scrapple. Just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteMy womanly aspect of this is.....I "see" a hot guy at Target and think "damn, he's hot", but that's it, I don't think any further than that. But after I watch Twilight and see the whole sensual thing going on, it makes me want to totally bang Edward! It takes more than a good looking body or mug to turn me on. Sensuality is where I say "Damn, I'd like to tap that!"....just sayin..
ReplyDeleteI think the same thing Steph. I see a hot guy, I think, DAMN he is hot, now where is my grocery list....MEN take it one step further, THAT IS ALL I AM SAYING...they think...damn she is hot, i would tap that, where is my grocery list. NOT that they would actually have a grocery list, cuz it is like directions, they think they can handle it, but we, as women know, they cant and they always forget shit. Especially tampons and Summers Eve Floralberrie douches.
ReplyDeleteI do NOT love scrapple, but will eat the exact same breakfast as you at BC every Friday, minus the scrapple. Thanks for your opnion. It always matters to me. What about egg shell in the eggs? Hot...or not?
ReplyDeleteOnly on Tuesdays and Fridays. I live in Vegas where women dominate the men. Women here just don't care, The women here are pigs and will harass you. I Love Vegas
ReplyDeleteI do think men are pigs. I am not being an asshole, I just do believe that MOST men are. I think most of you will admit this yourselves. I do think that men can and do control themselves. I love the man I am in a relationship with. I believe he wont cheat on me. I believe the things he says to me because I have to, or we wont work. I believe he is a good person with good values and I believe he loves me. Because he looks at women and thinks they are hot, it doesn't mean that he is going to throw them down and "hit that" right there on the spot. It doesn't mean he doesn't love me or find me attractive. It doesn't mean he is going to cheat. It is how men are wired. They look, they think it, they might play with it a little bit in their minds, and then they go get their grocery list. I will be honest, it took me years to understand this and I try not to take it personally or as a personal flaw that a man I am with finds other women attractive. I will say, I don't like it, because we ALL have the potential to cheat. We ALL have different morals and values. I value myself too much to cheat. I value my relationship too much to even put myself in a situation where something could happen. It happens all the time, It is human nature to like pretty, good looking things. It is human nature to look, and honestly, it is human nature to want whatever it is. I guess it is the same for me. I just think the thought process, or steps are in a different order. I don't know, maybe as women we are designed, taught, conditioned to believe it isn't right to think this way? Maybe we want to think we are "better" than that. Maybe it is just that we cant be honest about it because then we would be who-ers or sluts, to want men like this. Maybe, some of us really don't think this way and it is like Mr. "Now, back that ass up and give daddy some love" said....I think its individual - some women are pre-disposed to sex as are some men (ok most us men lol) same with our thoughts....
ReplyDeletebull shit! Let's categorize this shall we...
ReplyDeleteMarried women over 40 yrs old - No second thought
Married women under 40 yrs old - yes 2nd thought
Single women regardless of age - yes 2nd thought
Hot women - yes 2nd thought
not hot not in shape women - no 2nd thought
insecure women - no 2nd thought
shy conservative women - no 2nd thought
outgoing party girl - yes 2nd thought
unstable, rebellious women - YES
that is all..carry on!
oh stop tail is tail
ReplyDeleteHA. Funny. Women and men are equally piggish and horrible. I was just trying to make a point that we dont think about THIS the way men do. Not the same thought process. I do have to disagree with "you know said" because most men can bang anything, and are willing to do so.. Now as far as cheating, WOMEN will cheat too, we just dont want to bang everything we see that is hot. Just saying.
ReplyDelete"I do have to disagree with "you know said" because most men can bang anything, and are willing to do so."
ReplyDeletethat has nothing to do with what I said....yer dume ;)
oh and also, haven't you ever heard the song shoop by salt&pepper? ...you pig. ;)
No I havent. Why would I listen to Salt&Pepper? AND, I understood your post to be....the women you would think .....shes hot, I would tap that. I thought you were catagorizing them, by age and mental stability. I was just saying, men arent so particular. If its warm, they will bang it. Ask Joe about the fleshlight, did you order yours yet? I will now go listen to your stupid Salt & Pepper song. it better not ruin my day! DISMISSED. BTW, thanks!
ReplyDeleteHA. Ok, so Salt and Pepper dont fit my profile. I like the song though. Made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteYou're stacked 'specially in the back , wanna thank your mother for a butt like that Can I get some fries with that? looks could kill you would be an uzi You're a shotgun - bang! What's up with that ? wanna know how does it hang? Straight up, wait up, hold up, Mr. Prince said you're a sexy mutha- Well-a, I like 'em real wild, b-boy style by the mile
Allision, you are right. However, There are some women that are wired like men. They are few, but do exist. I could agree more with the first reply this morning and Steffanutters also. I'm just glad that Steff isn't insecure that she would kick MarRk's ass!
ReplyDeletethe differences between men and women-
ReplyDeleteMen love SEX. Women LOVE sex.
A man marries a woman with the hope she won't change. A woman marries a man hoping he will change.
I just think that there is probably a whole range of actions which are likely, and from time to time, there are women out there that will look and say they would "tap" that before looking for the grocery list. Given the range of responses you have here, it seems even more probable that this is likely. Given the number of human beings that are on this planet (of which roughly 50% are women) and the variations in hormonal levels, upbringing, culture etc, it seems unlikely that any assertion of what women think will be verified with any confidence. At best, we will probably get a consensus of opinion amongst people from similar cultural background, experiences, etc
ReplyDeleteI agree. I think it will always be the battle of the sexes. It is just human nature. It is fun and I am glad we dont all agree on everything. Some things I wish we did, but not everything.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIt would be TOTALEE boring if we agreed on everything...
ReplyDelete-----------------------------------------------------------------------
As far as I am concerned, It all boils down to CHOICES... Choices of actions and/or inactions and that is based purely on an Individual regardless of what sex they are.
We are human and ALL have thoughts... right, wrong or indifferent they are uncontrived & just as much natural & our own as our feelings are. But they are just that.. thoughts not actions!!
For me, Generally If I notice someone is attractive that is it. It is an admiration &/or a passing thought. DO women ever think sexually about men..? Absolutely but , on the whole we think and feel deeper and beyond the skin levels and return immediately or shortly thereafter to the search for the aforementioned grocery list. On occasion the thoughts do go to I'd 'Tap' that before returning to the list haha~ but, again .. Thoughts and actions ,, do they parallel each other or are they polar opposites? <~~ That is ALL about individual CHOICE~!! ;P
Honorability is key and is one's CHOICE of character. I do not believe that it is about what sex we are or hormone levels etc... I DO agree & believe men and women are ultimately hardwired differently in how we 'internally' react to what we see. That someone is unable to control their actions is complete and utter BullSh*t!!
I believe from the moment we can speak , Every individual is 100% accountable for the CHOICES of action and/or inaction they take. Both Men and women have been gifted with free will and thus the power of CHOICE!!
Basically, we can not 100% define men & women one way or another as it all boils down to individual character, honorability or lack thereof and CHOICE!!
(note the theme of my rant? ~hahha~ )
Well I think men are pigs..what can I say. I am married and my husband looks and does. He tells me that men can't be faithful it is in their nature to cheat. That they find someone "hot" and they want to bang them no matter what their relationship status is. I(a woman) however, do not think that way and believe when you are with someone you should be faithful. He looks he bangs or tries too and succeeds most times. I look and I leave it at that. Maybe there are men out there that can control themselves, but from what my husband says there aren't that they all cheat.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is trying to rationalize his terrible behavior, and nothing more.
ReplyDeleteNot all men cheat.
In fact, most men that I personally know, do not.
Do they think about having sex with other women...sure. But they don't do it.
I would suggest getting rid of this husband of yours.
Now I feel like Dear Abby or something, and have to go have sex with a random woman to re-affirm my manhood.