In July of 2008 I filed for a divorce after 18 years of marriage. I would like to say that my life began to change then, but it actually started to change in October of 2008, when I had a total knee replacement, and was confined to my home for what was supposed to be five to six weeks (ha, me confined, that lasted about two and a half weeks) of recovery. I had a Facebook account that my sister set up for me in March of 2008. I never used it, never even logged on, until that October.
I was home for my second day of a long recovery, sitting in my living room chair, high as a kite on pain meds, all alone, because when you file for divorce, then have major surgery, your husband doesn’t really want to take care of you, and I didn’t dare ask for fear of being poisoned. SO, I was alone watching horrific morning shows on the television when I decided I could probably navigate around the Internet. I turned on my laptop, and saw the Facebook logo thingy. I decided to log on and check this shit out.
Up until October, I was a technotard with a bad knee and had NO experience with the Internet social scene. I basically went online to shop and check out my account balances (contrary to popular belief, I am not a frequent visitor of the porn sites) I looked around and somehow found Casey Oar, Stephanie Dickson and then Valerie Irons, gals I had gone to school with. I sent them a friend request and they accepted. Val Irons was my first real friend on here. She kept me company sometimes while I sat at home eating BonBons, wrapping my knee in ice and popping heavy pain meds. I then friend requested Phil Sabbato. See, I had a huge crush on him in middle school, and he never even knew it. (Sorry Phil, free speech).
I started getting requests from people I hadn’t seen in forever, and was now addicted. I will never forget the first time I friend requested someone and kept checking to see if they accepted, my palms would be all sweaty, my heart would be racing, I would wonder if I had made a huge mistake…just kidding. ! I remember being defriended my first time, my friend “baby man” left, no explanation, just up and defriended me. I was heart broken and felt a great sense of loss. He was my hook up at drunk pottery and I still miss him.
Over the next year, tons of shit changed in my life, and Facebook was always there to make me smile, make me laugh uncontrollably, make me feel dirty, make me feel like an ass, or to just make me feel connected. I have made new friends, gotten to know old friends, friended a puppet by the name of Reverend Leroy Johnson and have a wonderful friend in New Zealand, whose name is Monty. I have reconnected with people I didn’t think I would see again, a few I didn’t WANT to see again, and I have made a few very close friends that I cherish and value their friendship. Hootie, and my Ninja bitches and bitch, I love you!
I have come to know a new language over the past year. Words that I have made up, some, my friends have made up, some come from god knows where, and some my friend Joe McCabe is known to use quite often. Just to make a point of how much I have changed and my life has changed, here is a list I have compiled. It is a list of words that I could have never imagined being a part of my vocabulary It is our own special language, used in our lil facebook community, by myself and many of my very sick and disturbed friends. I hope you enjoy my list, cuz it makes me laugh like hell. I love to read it to my personal assistant at work,. She just walks away, shaking her head. So here ya go……
LSHIF Laughed so hard I farted
Huckleberrieasstard
Muther focker
Fluck
WTF What the fuck
WTH What the hell
ROFWOP rolling on the floor without panties
LSHIPAL laughed so hard I pooped a little
Lol@Joe
Collagen injected penis
Berry beer
Drunk pottery
Floating
Summertime datillos
p-90 and how hard it is
pubic toupe
Ron on Tuesdays
defreind, friended, milk carton friend
Asstard, fucktard, typotard, spelltard, technotard
Various tards
Assclown
douchebaggery
Yamsicles
Ninja Hos (pink ninja, green ninja, cotton candy pink ninja, red ninja and black ninja)
Homotron
Fuckyoudzedzyandthehorseyourodeinon
Lickmystinkybuttfinger
JM&J
Leroy Bunion
Party hat leroy
Bitch wine
Beer wine
Dave Fishers ASS PALM
Hookas
WalMart Hookas
Holla
Woot
felching
Hooterberries
Lol
Private Messaging
Chatting
Blue lightning
Self portraits
Bathroom portraits
snowballing
Wang a merman
Chuckles
Carlton
ASSFLOWERS
AllieMac
ShellieMac
MissieMac
SuzieMac
Tree stalking
Angry dragon
Panty stealing
oh yea, and I have an entirely different outlook on videos, I only watched HOME videos before facebook
Various characters made with the keyboard…
TTYL.
AllieMac-Gina
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Facebook-And How It is Changing My World
In July of 2008 I filed for a divorce after 18 years of marriage. I would like to say that my life began to change then, but it actually started to change in October of 2008, when I had a total knee replacement, and was confined to my home for what was supposed to be five to six weeks (ha, me confined, that lasted about two and a half weeks) of recovery. I had a Facebook account that my sister set up for me in March of 2008. I never used it, never even logged on, until that October.
I was home for my second day of a long recovery, sitting in my living room chair, high as a kite on pain meds, all alone, because when you file for divorce, then have major surgery, your husband doesn’t really want to take care of you, and I didn’t dare ask for fear of being poisoned. SO, I was alone watching horrific morning shows on the television when I decided I could probably navigate around the Internet. I turned on my laptop, and saw the Facebook logo thingy. I decided to log on and check this shit out.
Up until October, I was a technotard with a bad knee and had NO experience with the Internet social scene. I basically went online to shop and check out my account balances (contrary to popular belief, I am not a frequent visitor of the porn sites) I looked around and somehow found Casey Oar, Stephanie Dickson and then Valerie Irons, gals I had gone to school with. I sent them a friend request and they accepted. Val Irons was my first real friend on here. She kept me company sometimes while I sat at home eating BonBons, wrapping my knee in ice and popping heavy pain meds. I then friend requested Phil Sabbato. See, I had a huge crush on him in middle school, and he never even knew it. (Sorry Phil, free speech).
I started getting requests from people I hadn’t seen in forever, and was now addicted. I will never forget the first time I friend requested someone and kept checking to see if they accepted, my palms would be all sweaty, my heart would be racing, I would wonder if I had made a huge mistake…just kidding. ! I remember being defriended my first time, my friend “baby man” left, no explanation, just up and defriended me. I was heart broken and felt a great sense of loss. He was my hook up at drunk pottery and I still miss him.
Over the next year, tons of shit changed in my life, and Facebook was always there to make me smile, make me laugh uncontrollably, make me feel dirty, make me feel like an ass, or to just make me feel connected. I have made new friends, gotten to know old friends, friended a puppet by the name of Reverend Leroy Johnson and have a wonderful friend in New Zealand, whose name is Monty. I have reconnected with people I didn’t think I would see again, a few I didn’t WANT to see again, and I have made a few very close friends that I cherish and value their friendship. Hootie, and my Ninja bitches and bitch, I love you!
I have come to know a new language over the past year. Words that I have made up, some, my friends have made up, some come from god knows where, and some my friend Joe McCabe is known to use quite often. Just to make a point of how much I have changed and my life has changed, here is a list I have compiled. It is a list of words that I could have never imagined being a part of my vocabulary It is our own special language, used in our lil facebook community, by myself and many of my very sick and disturbed friends. I hope you enjoy my list, cuz it makes me laugh like hell. I love to read it to my personal assistant at work,. She just walks away, shaking her head. So here ya go……
LSHIF Laughed so hard I farted
Huckleberrieasstard
Muther focker
Fluck
WTF What the fuck
WTH What the hell
ROFWOP rolling on the floor without panties
LSHIPAL laughed so hard I pooped a little
Lol@Joe
Collagen injected penis
Berry beer
Drunk pottery
Floating
Summertime datillos
p-90 and how hard it is
pubic toupe
Ron on Tuesdays
defreind, friended, milk carton friend
Asstard, fucktard, typotard, spelltard, technotard
Various tards
Assclown
douchebaggery
Yamsicles
Ninja Hos (pink ninja, green ninja, cotton candy pink ninja, red ninja and black ninja)
Homotron
Fuckyoudzedzyandthehorseyourodeinon
Lickmystinkybuttfinger
JM&J
Leroy Bunion
Party hat leroy
Bitch wine
Beer wine
Dave Fishers ASS PALM
Hookas
WalMart Hookas
Holla
Woot
felching
Hooterberries
Lol
Private Messaging
Chatting
Blue lightning
Self portraits
Bathroom portraits
snowballing
Wang a merman
Chuckles
Carlton
ASSFLOWERS
AllieMac
ShellieMac
MissieMac
SuzieMac
Tree stalking
Angry dragon
Panty stealing
oh yea, and I have an entirely different outlook on videos, I only watched HOME videos before facebook
Various characters made with the keyboard…
TTYL.
AllieMac-Gina
I was home for my second day of a long recovery, sitting in my living room chair, high as a kite on pain meds, all alone, because when you file for divorce, then have major surgery, your husband doesn’t really want to take care of you, and I didn’t dare ask for fear of being poisoned. SO, I was alone watching horrific morning shows on the television when I decided I could probably navigate around the Internet. I turned on my laptop, and saw the Facebook logo thingy. I decided to log on and check this shit out.
Up until October, I was a technotard with a bad knee and had NO experience with the Internet social scene. I basically went online to shop and check out my account balances (contrary to popular belief, I am not a frequent visitor of the porn sites) I looked around and somehow found Casey Oar, Stephanie Dickson and then Valerie Irons, gals I had gone to school with. I sent them a friend request and they accepted. Val Irons was my first real friend on here. She kept me company sometimes while I sat at home eating BonBons, wrapping my knee in ice and popping heavy pain meds. I then friend requested Phil Sabbato. See, I had a huge crush on him in middle school, and he never even knew it. (Sorry Phil, free speech).
I started getting requests from people I hadn’t seen in forever, and was now addicted. I will never forget the first time I friend requested someone and kept checking to see if they accepted, my palms would be all sweaty, my heart would be racing, I would wonder if I had made a huge mistake…just kidding. ! I remember being defriended my first time, my friend “baby man” left, no explanation, just up and defriended me. I was heart broken and felt a great sense of loss. He was my hook up at drunk pottery and I still miss him.
Over the next year, tons of shit changed in my life, and Facebook was always there to make me smile, make me laugh uncontrollably, make me feel dirty, make me feel like an ass, or to just make me feel connected. I have made new friends, gotten to know old friends, friended a puppet by the name of Reverend Leroy Johnson and have a wonderful friend in New Zealand, whose name is Monty. I have reconnected with people I didn’t think I would see again, a few I didn’t WANT to see again, and I have made a few very close friends that I cherish and value their friendship. Hootie, and my Ninja bitches and bitch, I love you!
I have come to know a new language over the past year. Words that I have made up, some, my friends have made up, some come from god knows where, and some my friend Joe McCabe is known to use quite often. Just to make a point of how much I have changed and my life has changed, here is a list I have compiled. It is a list of words that I could have never imagined being a part of my vocabulary It is our own special language, used in our lil facebook community, by myself and many of my very sick and disturbed friends. I hope you enjoy my list, cuz it makes me laugh like hell. I love to read it to my personal assistant at work,. She just walks away, shaking her head. So here ya go……
LSHIF Laughed so hard I farted
Huckleberrieasstard
Muther focker
Fluck
WTF What the fuck
WTH What the hell
ROFWOP rolling on the floor without panties
LSHIPAL laughed so hard I pooped a little
Lol@Joe
Collagen injected penis
Berry beer
Drunk pottery
Floating
Summertime datillos
p-90 and how hard it is
pubic toupe
Ron on Tuesdays
defreind, friended, milk carton friend
Asstard, fucktard, typotard, spelltard, technotard
Various tards
Assclown
douchebaggery
Yamsicles
Ninja Hos (pink ninja, green ninja, cotton candy pink ninja, red ninja and black ninja)
Homotron
Fuckyoudzedzyandthehorseyourodeinon
Lickmystinkybuttfinger
JM&J
Leroy Bunion
Party hat leroy
Bitch wine
Beer wine
Dave Fishers ASS PALM
Hookas
WalMart Hookas
Holla
Woot
felching
Hooterberries
Lol
Private Messaging
Chatting
Blue lightning
Self portraits
Bathroom portraits
snowballing
Wang a merman
Chuckles
Carlton
ASSFLOWERS
AllieMac
ShellieMac
MissieMac
SuzieMac
Tree stalking
Angry dragon
Panty stealing
oh yea, and I have an entirely different outlook on videos, I only watched HOME videos before facebook
Various characters made with the keyboard…
TTYL.
AllieMac-Gina
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Journey To Thin: Entry 2
When we last left off, I started my journey to thin
30lbs in and 3 months later, I started to think, "This isn’t so bad, I can really do this!"…."WOW, I can carry the laundry up the stairs without being out of breath!". I could still go out and enjoy myself AND still lose weight. I was sleeping better, and I was feeling good!
Then my boyfriend, realizing that I was doing it and still enjoying myself started his own journey to walk beside mine. He also had no idea he was over 300LBS….we both needed to save ourselves!
SO, Spring came…and having shed almost 50 lbs by then, I decided to start walking. I walked 3 times a week, 3 miles at a time..…. and you know what?
I loved it! I could walk and not have to stop, not have to make excuses!
That ankle injury? Never came up.
My sprained knee? Never knew it was there!
I even walked in my first 5K…with some wonderful friends beside me who were runners. They walked right by my side the whole way, and didn’t even let me finish last! Then I walked another...and another…and started improving my time! I was walking in the park with coworkers after work and there was a gigantic hill...when we started walking, we said.. "Oh my, we will never make it up that hill!" But one day we said, "Lets do the hill"… and we did!!
When the weather turned cold in October, our routine WAS that hill..not once, but TWICE!
I then joined a gym. I remember during those walks we’d laugh at the runners and say "Man, they look like they are in pain.. we are never running!!".
At the gym?....I run for 10 minutes of my hour walk now!
T
his journey has taken me through so many emotions. I almost laugh that I choose a salad over a cheese steak now, and Im HAPPY about it! I COOK at home, with veggies and protein, and I even know what those things are now!!!!
I used to say… I EAT NOTHING GREEN!!! Now... I can’t think of too many green things that I don’t eat. (Okay brussell sprouts.. but I just might try them one day). I have learned so much from Weight Watchers and the leadership at the meetings. Eating right and changing your lifestyle WILL save your life, and change it in so many ways....like the first time I went into the plus size store and the smallest size was too big!
You can’t go into a restaurant and order a "BOXED WEIGHT LOSS MEAL" please...but you CAN order a meal that’s healthy. And thats what I have learned.. to make better choices, to put myself first…and my health first.
And be happy about it.
SURE, I’ve been tempted, and I do give in every now and then....beer and nachos, anyone?
SURE I’ve had a few gains along the way (my biggest gain being 2lbs.), but I know how to fix it, and I've learned that its OKAY.
I remember going to a wedding after only losing 40 lbs, and I cried because I ate the whole dinner.....AND the dessert...and oh yea, some appetizers too.....and yep, a few beers too. But Nick came up to me and said "HON, you have been so good.. you deserve to splurge! I'ts only once…you will be fine tomorrow!". I would have been scared, but he was right.
And you know what?
I lost 4 lbs that week!...and I have continued to treat myself every now and then. I SO enjoy how it tastes...but I know that I've had what I craved and Im still OKAY.
Its all okay.
~Steff Dickson
Friday, January 8, 2010
Men and Feminine Hygiene Products
I have always wondered why men have such an aversion to purchasing feminine hygiene products. It's not like we're asking them to use their bare hands and scoop up a pile of used ones. The ones you purchase are clean, and neatly wrapped in the manufacturers box. Do they think it is a violation of their manhood? Do they think the store clerk is looking at them thinking "Oh....he's a Trany". Or "Oh...wonder what he's going to do with those?". No, the store clerk thinks.."Oh...what a nice guy, he's got a wife or girlfriend and he's man enough to buy these for them". So, if anything, it would be a definite "Non-gay" plug to boost their ego.
Mark has always been great about buying them, and...... he always gets the right kind. Which is a big plus considering he has to stand in the isle, reading the boxes, while all the other men walk past thinking "Oh...he's a Trany" or "Oh...wonder what he's going to do with those". My brother, on the other hand, is one of those guys who would rather die a slow death being stabbed with hot pokers and having his eyes pecked out by parasite infested vultures, then to buy a box of Tampons. Yet, these same men think nothing of buying Jock itch cream, or hemorrhoidal ointment when they need it. Now THAT would be something for the store clerks to have a field day with, once they left the store. If I were the clerk in the store, I would be much more inclined to be attracted to a guy who would buy a feminine hygiene product for a female in need, then one buying jock itch cream!
So guys, next time you see a hot store clerk that you're trying to pick-up, buy a box of tampons and tell her it's for your sister. You'll have a much better chance to score than if she thinks you have a Hemorrhoid tumor sticking out of your ass, or an itchy "Member". Just sayin......
Mark has always been great about buying them, and...... he always gets the right kind. Which is a big plus considering he has to stand in the isle, reading the boxes, while all the other men walk past thinking "Oh...he's a Trany" or "Oh...wonder what he's going to do with those". My brother, on the other hand, is one of those guys who would rather die a slow death being stabbed with hot pokers and having his eyes pecked out by parasite infested vultures, then to buy a box of Tampons. Yet, these same men think nothing of buying Jock itch cream, or hemorrhoidal ointment when they need it. Now THAT would be something for the store clerks to have a field day with, once they left the store. If I were the clerk in the store, I would be much more inclined to be attracted to a guy who would buy a feminine hygiene product for a female in need, then one buying jock itch cream!
So guys, next time you see a hot store clerk that you're trying to pick-up, buy a box of tampons and tell her it's for your sister. You'll have a much better chance to score than if she thinks you have a Hemorrhoid tumor sticking out of your ass, or an itchy "Member". Just sayin......
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Dear Dad....(this made me chuckle today)
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I am writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older
than I am. But it' s not only the passion... Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the
whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children together.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for herpes so Stacy can get better... She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can
get to know your grandchildren..
Love, Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a
report card. That's in my center desk drawer.
I love you...
Call me when it's safe to come home.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I am writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older
than I am. But it' s not only the passion... Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the
whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children together.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for herpes so Stacy can get better... She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can
get to know your grandchildren..
Love, Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a
report card. That's in my center desk drawer.
I love you...
Call me when it's safe to come home.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
The Journey To Thin: Entry One
DECEMBER 24, 2008 –
I walked in to the Doctors office for a follow up visit after I was hospitalized for a serious skin infection and that visit spurred me to change my life. The Doctor spoke very frankly to me, and said.. "Stephanie, you had a serious infection that you could have lost your leg… you’re very lucky to be walking in here". I nodded, and what he said next changed my life, "You are very overweight, and have poor circulation, if you don’t change something, you will end up like those old people you see with gigantic swollen ankles – unable to walk. YOU can change this Stephanie, so this doesn’t happen.. and you know you can do it."
I could.
I had always known I was “Heavy” even calling myself “Big Boned” through the years, but I had no idea.
I guess everyone has an internal vision of what they look like, and I thought I looked fine...."cute" even.
And I was always happy.
Meanwhile...I just keep ignoring ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the signs, making excuses for everything. "OH, I can’t walk that far, I have an old ankle injury, Im sorry, can you park closer, I must have slept wrong, my back hurts".
Chest pain?..."Oh, I must have eaten something that didn’t agree with me……. Honey, can you carry this up the stairs for me? I think I sprained my knee."
Literally, I couldn’t walk the length of the boardwalk in Rehoboth without stopping two or three times! I said I was people watching.
Truthfully?....I couldn’t walk any more. It hurt. EVERYTHING hurt!
Of course it wasn’t because I WAS FAT, I was sure of it!!!!!
I had tried diets before, never worked.
Gained everything back and then some.
Gained forty pounds…. Of course it was because I quit smoking, or whatever else I could come up with.
Gained 20 lbs?, "Oh, it must be because I changed medicines.". I almost even believed myself at times. It sounded good to me!. My mother would beg me to lose weight, even offered to pay for it, told me I was going to die.. I said.. "MOM!! I’m HEALTHY...a little heavy, but I'm HEALTHY!!! PLEASE STOP BUGGING ME!!"
And then I went and ate a pizza, or a burger… or whatever else I could find…
I walked out of that Doctors office determined. I was going to do something this time….
Here at work, Weight Watchers was starting in January. "That’s it!", I told myself...."This is it. Its time. Im ready."
So I stepped on the scale January 5th 2009 at saw what it said....
308.2 lbs.
WHAT? Seriously, there is something wrong there.. how did that happen? Are you sure?!?!?!?
But sadly….It was right. That number was correct.
WOW. This happened just in time….Im going to change me.
FOR ME!!
~Steff Dickson
The After Holiday Blues
There's something anticlimactic about stockings with empty wrappers sticking out, a Christmas tree with empty boxes under it and a new years resolution that entails exercise and eating right. Like so many people, I am feeling that "after holiday blues" this year. It has been 3 days since I have wanted to get out of bed. Well, I never WANT to get out of bed, especially when there is someone warm to snuggle with that wears black socks to bed, but these past few days have been nearly impossible to drag myself up. The feeling of sadness weighs me down and I feel no real sense of purpose.
My sole purpose for the past few weeks had been to shop (always, always, always makes me happy) for gifts that I felt would make other people happy. I get so excited and can't wait to give that perfect gift, when I feel I have found it. I decorate the tree with my son, put up all the holiday decorations and beg everyone I know to bake me cookies. I get together with my family and loved ones and reminisce. I laugh and feel happy throughout December and always enjoy New Years Eve, no matter how I spend it. Sometimes, I help a friend pick up one acorn or one leaf (you know who you are) or I shovel an old ladies sidewalk. It is the most festive time of the year. It is my most selfless time.
I think the feelings of , what just happened, where did all the fun go, I can't get that special shopping high anymore, nobody is cooking me extravagant meals, was delayed because I went to the beach for New Years and prolonged the festive spirit until January 3rd. I thought maybe I had missed the after holiday blues this year. HA, yea, no such luck. Reality has a way of creeping back in. The party time is over. There are boxes of trash, wrapping paper rolls strewn about, a dying tree in the corner and gifts to be taken back ( hey, i miss the mark on that perfect gift sometimes). And then there are the bills. I always spend too much at Christmas. ALWAYS.
To try and break free from this "after holiday blues" I remind myself of how happy I was when I spent that small fortune, how good it felt to just pig out and how many smiling faces I got to look at as they opened their gifts. I look at that tree in the corner and wonder if maybe I shouldn't just go Green and leave it sitting there, like it is a house plant, not bothering to remove it. I tell myself how next year I will make every ones gifts (LOL, that thought alone just cheered me up. The look on your face as you realize I tried to make you something, cuz I am an artistic and domesticated goddess). As of right now, these thoughts are working. I am starting to feel better today. My son is home after a week long trip to Florida. I know that the trash will be removed and my house will be back in order. I know that Joe will cook for me and wear nothing but his Christmas apron, if I get sad and need a good meal.
This has been a wonderful holiday season. I am always sad to see it end, but I will now start to look forward to Valentines Day and warm cozy nights spent quietly with people I love. I am feeling grateful for my family and loved ones, and am happy that this holiday season was spent with them, people that I know will be in my life forever, in one way or another.
I know that I am not the only one going through this "after holiday blues" and I know that this will pass, but I thought I would let you all know, that if you are feeling that sadness or depression, I feel it too, and with each day, it has gotten better. Writing this alone has made me feel much happier!
xoxoxox
AllieMac 'Gina
My sole purpose for the past few weeks had been to shop (always, always, always makes me happy) for gifts that I felt would make other people happy. I get so excited and can't wait to give that perfect gift, when I feel I have found it. I decorate the tree with my son, put up all the holiday decorations and beg everyone I know to bake me cookies. I get together with my family and loved ones and reminisce. I laugh and feel happy throughout December and always enjoy New Years Eve, no matter how I spend it. Sometimes, I help a friend pick up one acorn or one leaf (you know who you are) or I shovel an old ladies sidewalk. It is the most festive time of the year. It is my most selfless time.
I think the feelings of , what just happened, where did all the fun go, I can't get that special shopping high anymore, nobody is cooking me extravagant meals, was delayed because I went to the beach for New Years and prolonged the festive spirit until January 3rd. I thought maybe I had missed the after holiday blues this year. HA, yea, no such luck. Reality has a way of creeping back in. The party time is over. There are boxes of trash, wrapping paper rolls strewn about, a dying tree in the corner and gifts to be taken back ( hey, i miss the mark on that perfect gift sometimes). And then there are the bills. I always spend too much at Christmas. ALWAYS.
To try and break free from this "after holiday blues" I remind myself of how happy I was when I spent that small fortune, how good it felt to just pig out and how many smiling faces I got to look at as they opened their gifts. I look at that tree in the corner and wonder if maybe I shouldn't just go Green and leave it sitting there, like it is a house plant, not bothering to remove it. I tell myself how next year I will make every ones gifts (LOL, that thought alone just cheered me up. The look on your face as you realize I tried to make you something, cuz I am an artistic and domesticated goddess). As of right now, these thoughts are working. I am starting to feel better today. My son is home after a week long trip to Florida. I know that the trash will be removed and my house will be back in order. I know that Joe will cook for me and wear nothing but his Christmas apron, if I get sad and need a good meal.
This has been a wonderful holiday season. I am always sad to see it end, but I will now start to look forward to Valentines Day and warm cozy nights spent quietly with people I love. I am feeling grateful for my family and loved ones, and am happy that this holiday season was spent with them, people that I know will be in my life forever, in one way or another.
I know that I am not the only one going through this "after holiday blues" and I know that this will pass, but I thought I would let you all know, that if you are feeling that sadness or depression, I feel it too, and with each day, it has gotten better. Writing this alone has made me feel much happier!
xoxoxox
AllieMac 'Gina
Monday, January 4, 2010
My Very First 'Gina-Post
I don't actually know what it is called when you write on a blog, but I am sure someone will tell me, as many of my friends are into this stuff. For me, right now, I will call this passage my first 'GINA -POST!
I have bragged to Joe on a few occasions (usually when intoxicated) that I could have a blog, and that if I did have one I would write/post on it (that's the key here, actually posting shit), and maintain it. He is always encouraging, and it was no different with this. He set up Blog-gina for me, my friends and all the ladies out there...so we could come here and bitch about men and life, rant, cry, laugh, giggle and share ourselves, our daily lives, struggles, accomplishments, bullshit, and anything we want, with one another and anyone else who cares to listen! (god knows men suck at listening, but that's a 'gina-post for another day)
We subject many of you to our insanity, love, laughter, tears, and silly ways on a daily basis, through Facebook. That is as much as I ever share about myself. I have never kept a diary or written in a journal. I was always too afraid someone might find it and commit me for my utterly insane and twisted thoughts! With a blog, I am in control of what I tell you, and i don't need to keep anything hidden under my pillow with a lock and hearts on it, fearing one day to find the lock broken and a man holding up a white jacket for me to slip on. A blog in my mind is a place to write about whatever you want, however you want and whenever you want. I like that idea. I am one more person who feels that my shit is so important, that YOU must want to read it.
HA! My first blog was going to to be a list of my top-ten pet peeves, but I just got all sidetracked and wrote about blogging Blog-gina style here, so I will only subject you to my top FIVE pet peeves.... here they are. Not in any particular order, because I find them all equally annoying!
Men that cant figure out how to put the new toilet paper roll
back on the toilet paper holder, so they just leave it on the counter for the toilet paper fairy to do it!
Skinny people that complain that they are fat
People who will not "friend" people on Facebook.......YOU MUST FRIEND THEM.....puhleeeeeaaassssseee!
Of course, when the toilet seat is left in the UP position....when will they come up with a toilet seat that lowers itself after 1 minute? or better yet one that reminds you ...hey fuckleberrieasstard, you left the seat up!
And finally, backseat drivers
Maybe this year, I will eliminate some of these pet-peeves by working on my patience, or maybe I should just eliminate the people who do these things! THAT sounds much more fun!
I hope that you all take advantage of this site! I have no idea how to end a 'gina-post, so I will just end this one with.......Happy New Year, to all my friends with vaginas!
I have bragged to Joe on a few occasions (usually when intoxicated) that I could have a blog, and that if I did have one I would write/post on it (that's the key here, actually posting shit), and maintain it. He is always encouraging, and it was no different with this. He set up Blog-gina for me, my friends and all the ladies out there...so we could come here and bitch about men and life, rant, cry, laugh, giggle and share ourselves, our daily lives, struggles, accomplishments, bullshit, and anything we want, with one another and anyone else who cares to listen! (god knows men suck at listening, but that's a 'gina-post for another day)
We subject many of you to our insanity, love, laughter, tears, and silly ways on a daily basis, through Facebook. That is as much as I ever share about myself. I have never kept a diary or written in a journal. I was always too afraid someone might find it and commit me for my utterly insane and twisted thoughts! With a blog, I am in control of what I tell you, and i don't need to keep anything hidden under my pillow with a lock and hearts on it, fearing one day to find the lock broken and a man holding up a white jacket for me to slip on. A blog in my mind is a place to write about whatever you want, however you want and whenever you want. I like that idea. I am one more person who feels that my shit is so important, that YOU must want to read it.
HA! My first blog was going to to be a list of my top-ten pet peeves, but I just got all sidetracked and wrote about blogging Blog-gina style here, so I will only subject you to my top FIVE pet peeves.... here they are. Not in any particular order, because I find them all equally annoying!
Men that cant figure out how to put the new toilet paper roll
back on the toilet paper holder, so they just leave it on the counter for the toilet paper fairy to do it!
Skinny people that complain that they are fat
People who will not "friend" people on Facebook.......YOU MUST FRIEND THEM.....puhleeeeeaaassssseee!
Of course, when the toilet seat is left in the UP position....when will they come up with a toilet seat that lowers itself after 1 minute? or better yet one that reminds you ...hey fuckleberrieasstard, you left the seat up!
And finally, backseat drivers
Maybe this year, I will eliminate some of these pet-peeves by working on my patience, or maybe I should just eliminate the people who do these things! THAT sounds much more fun!
I hope that you all take advantage of this site! I have no idea how to end a 'gina-post, so I will just end this one with.......Happy New Year, to all my friends with vaginas!
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