True Love

What is True Love? When asked that question most people envision a young vibrant couple walking hand in hand through a park with their whole lives ahead of them, unable to keep their hands off of each other, planning a future together, with smiles and excitement, with an electrical physical attraction. You can almost see the love bubbles popping in the air. But I have come to realize, during a very sad time, through the eyes of my grandparents, it is so, so much more. It is about a bond that is formed when sharing this journey of life with someone. It is about all the experiences, good and bad, that you march through, together, hand in hand.  It’s not about physical attraction, sex, money, materialistic gifts or romance. It is about the most pure, unconditional, deepest feelings about another human being that generates from the depths of your soul.

This week I watched as my feeble (sometimes confused) 95 year old grandfather approached my gravely ill grandmother’s hospital bed. Their eyes met and no words needed to be spoken. There was a stronger communication there then words could ever accomplish. I watched as he gently took her hand in his.  I looked at those hands, fitting together like a perfect puzzle piece and thought of all the things those hands have experienced together. Those hands first met and held each other almost 70 years ago when my grandfather came home from the war and had to break the news to my grandmother that her fiancé (my grandfather’s brother) had been killed in WWII. At that time, those hands held each other through comfort and mutual grieving. From that moment forward, those hands went on to hold each other through a first date, walks in the park, sharing a soda at the church dance, marriage vows, building their own house together brick by brick, sickness, happiness, financial woes, the death of their parents and siblings and the birth of their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Those hands held each other through excitement and sadness, through trials and tribulations, through grieving and loss and through happiness for 70 years. No wonder they fit together like a perfect puzzle piece, they have been molded together by true love.

We tend to lose sight of what is truly valuable in life. We are caught up in this busy world of technology and media brainwash of what your life “should be” and what you “need” to be happy and what a “happy marriage” consists of. For Christ sake, there are books, magazines and psychologists that get paid money to tell you these things. But none of those things matter, really. What really matters is having someone in your life to share your experiences with. Someone to stand by you regardless of what your hair looks like or how much weight you’ve gained, just that one person who has experienced it all with you to be there to hold your hand when you need it.

We have always given my grandfather a hard time because he’s not the most romantic guy in the world. He never splurged on lavish gifts for my grandmother or romantic dinners; he has always been very practical. His Idea of a gift is putting new handles on the pots and pans and shining them up to make it easier for her to cook. But while we gave him a hard time, we were missing the fact that he really has given her the most romantic gift of all…. True, unconditional, devotional love. My grandparents have never been apart more than 1 night 1 time in almost 70 years and that one night he called her all night telling her how much he missed her and their family. Everything in their lives, they have done together. They share everything together and there is nothing they hide from each other (well, except the occasional $20 she slips in a grandchild’s hand on the down low).  :)

As I watch them both near the end of their lives I can’t help but be in awe of this true love I see before me. This true love that no hospital tubes and wires could ever come between, This true love that doesn’t need to be spoken through words or gifts, This true love that just “IS”. I hope that my grandmother recovers and that they can spend more days and nights together in their home that they built together with those beautiful hands and be able to use those hands together to help another great Grandchild reach for the cookie jar.  But no matter what, I am so happy to have been able to be a part of this life with them and to see the magic of what true love really is. I can almost see the love bubbles popping in the air……

Yoga Pants and Hair-Dos!

 

 

 

Joe and I went out for some sushi yesterday. There was a group of six young women  who walked into the restaurant at different times to meet each other for lunch. The first one walked in and she was wearing a short sweater, yoga pants and boots to her knee. The second one walked in and she was wearing a short sweater, yoga pants and boots to her knees, the third one walked in and she had decided to change it up a bit by sporting a pair of Uggs. Fourth one comes in; short colorful top (not a sweater) a pair of yoga pants and boots to her knee, Fifth and sixth to enter shorty thereafter… exact same thing, sweater, yoga pants, boots  except one of the last two to enter got the memo from her other friend to TRY and be a little different and join her in wearing her Uggs!

 Now I don’t have  a problem with the look.  I think it’s great, but if I were to walk into a restaurant to meet 6 of my friends and I was above the age of 10 (when we all went through that phase with your BFF where you wore the same things, yeah, ugh, I would like to forget that phase)   and we all had on the exact same outfit, I would feel like a fool!

 I have noticed with the young women of today that they have very little variety of style. Not much thought or creativity when putting an outfit together. I know when I was a young woman   I wore all kinds of stuff and if you wore the same thing I would get upset and have to get something else or change mine somehow. We ripped things, we bleached things we all shopped at different stores or put our own spin on the more common things.   It was a proud moment when a friend said, wow, you look great, cool outfit, because nobody else had it!

 As women we tend to have more options today as far as style in clothing. We also have more money than our younger counterparts, paired with the Internet, so we can really get different looks. I still like the younger styles and I love the high boot trend right now. I love that I can wear a different look every day. Today I have thin corduroys  on with a super bright poncho. Yesterday I wore jeans with a skull shirt ( which had some bedazzling going on) and shiny Doc Marten type boots. The day before, mini skirt, high boots and a sweater ( I can’t wear yoga pants cuz….BIG ASS)! You get my point, I have a variety of styles I change up.

 As women in our late thirties early forties, we fall into the yoga pant, sweater, high boot scenario with our HAIR!   I went to get my hair done Saturday, which is what I think started all of this examining of today’s looks.  I wanted something different. I thought of LA and all the beautiful styles in clothing, glasses, sunglasses, shoes and hair that men and women have out there. When I went to visit my son the fashion was the first thing I noticed and loved (we are very conservative here in Delaware and that’s being generous). I have that same look 90% of us have, the worn out Jennifer Aniston look. I have it longer (well I went shorter not too long ago, but it is getting longer again) with some highlights and that long, sometimes a bit shorter, hanging bang thing swooped to one side over one eye. Hell, I put less mascara on that right eye sometimes because half the time it is covered with my super swoop bang! We all dress a bit differently  when we go out but we trade the yoga pants for hair! The only real difference in our hair style  is shades of color and which side you have it hanging towards!

I wasn’t very brave in my quest for change. I did not get a cut because of the letting it grow out thing, but I did change up the highlights/color. I Went from a medium brown with gold highlights to a deep auburn shade with some lighter auburn highlights. I was afraid to go too drastic and figured each visit I will work my way up to a new and dramatic shade, but I was disappointed in myself for lacking the courage to just go for it, like I would have when I was younger.
 
I guess we all conform to some degree, but it is a shame because we are able to really wear anything we want. We have access to everything and anything, all different eras of clothing from all over the world. It is all out there and when you think of the possibilities we have and don’t take advantage of, we are nuts!

 

 I almost forgot about this blog until I started ranting, and my ranting became too long for my status update so I decided to open this Blog thing back up for a day!

 

AllieMac'Gina