Hot Tub Time Machine

Last night I went to see the movie, Hot Tub Time Machine. This is a movie, based on the title alone, I would not have gone to see on my own accord. I saw one or two previews for it, and thought it was going to be another one of those tits and ass movies that men enjoy and find highly entertaining, because men are neanderthals and have very small brains. The hot guy who asked me to go, sits through all my chick flicks, crying when appropriate, feeling me up when the lights go out, tolerating my Reese's Pieces and popcorn habit, and never complains about the floaties I leave in the soda, so I bit the bullet and went. I bitched a bit here and there, but figured I would at least be able to gloat when it was over, that it sucked, just like I said.

As much as I want to tell you it sucked, I cant. As much as I wanted to gloat, I couldn't. I was pleasantly surprised by the movie. I actually needed a good laugh and I got just that, a few times over. It isn't your typical time travel movie (the fact they travel in a hot tub gives that away). What I liked was that they went back in time, but decided NOT to change the past events, to preserve the future, by doing exactly what they did back in 1986, all over again.

This movie is funny. I love the cast and found Lou (Rob Corddry) to be the perfect asshole, and my favorite character. I loved the 80's music, and was reminded of our excellent fashion sense and hip hair-dos. Are ski-resorts as cool and hip as they were back then? I haven't been to a ski resort to party since the late 80's, but have fond memories. I am old, and they are too cold.

Ladies, I suggest you go to see this movie with your man. You will earn huge
honey - do points. Bitch and moan about going, that way he thinks you are doing him a big favor, tell him he owes you for this one, and when it is over sigh and say, "that wasn't so bad." It is a win-win situation, and we all know I love to win.

Here is a link that will tell you the details and some fun facts about the movie.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1231587

Let me know what you think, if you go!

Luv Ya,
AllieMac-Gina

Anudder Cast - Episode 5ive

Anudder Cast - Episode 5ive

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Anudder Cast - Episode 4our

Anudder Cast - Episode 4our

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I Challenge You, Fat Ass!

Why is it so hard to get your ass to the gym? I wouldn't mind being addicted to exercise, but of course I am addicted to all the bad shit in life. I am headed to the gym tonight, and I am dreading it, but what I dread more is putting on my summer clothes. I misbehaved all winter long. I did not take proper care of myself, and now it is time to pay the price.

I have to diet and exercise. There was a time, not too long ago, when I didn't have to do anything. I would eat what I wanted and just being active was enough to keep me looking fine. That is so not the case anymore. It takes me twenty minutes to eat a nice dish of pasta and three years to work it off. I still chase the ice cream man, and he comes around earlier and earlier each year. I have very little willpower.

My diet looks good. I went to the Cheesecake Factory Tuesday night with my son for my birthday. I went to Sullivan's with Joe last night and I will be going to the Cheesecake Factory again tonight with my family. Tomorrow night I am going to Lucky's for a special dinner and to the movies (love the candy and soda) with a kewl kid. Saturday I am supposed to go to Lancaster for a fun meal at a cool restaurant. Sunday I will have a salad. Pretty sure I will lose weight quickly with this schedule.

Well, I would love to challenge some of you to a Biggest Loser type of competition. As you can see from above, your chances of winning are pretty good. I find that I do well when I am competing, so I thought this might be a good idea, and give me that extra shove to get me really going. If you have some weight to lose and you are interested in winning a ten pack of tube socks (prize is negotiable), hit me up. I am open to any ideas or suggestions.

Luv ya,
AllieMac-Gina

Birthday

Tomorrow is my brithday. I used to be excited when I was younger and it was my birthday. I would make a birthday wish list, days, sometimes weeks in advance listing all the things I wanted (sometimes I included illustrations). I would change that list a few times, then finally hand it over to my mother, just knowing deep in my heart I was going to get everything on that list. Rabbits, a small plane (a glider would be fine) a puppy or the really cool dirtbike like my friend Johnny had.

On March 23rd, I would wake up, feeling that today was not like any other day. Today was my day. It was all about me. At school they would sing Happy Birthday to me. I would get a special gift from my teacher. I would get to be line leader, all day. I would be the one to take the milk money up to the cafateria and I would get to hold the flag during the Pledge of Allegiance, the possibilities were endless on my birthday! I would sit in class and daydream about the gifts waiting for me at home, maybe they will have the ENTIRE Pittsburgh Steelers there to sing to me this year. I could envision the plane sitting in my front yard or the rabbits running free all around my bedroom.

I knew there was a cake and there would be candles, although they were nowhere to be seen before I left for school that morning. I trusted the process, not like the Toothfairy bullshit. The Toothfairy was unreliable in my house, and sometimes left your money on the kitchen windowsill when you got home from school, it was rarely under my pillow with my bloody little chicklet tooth when I woke up. Anyway, back to my birthday. I had a few parties, but not many. I was the fourth child, out of five and my mother was just tired. But it didnt really matter. It was my day. I would have a little extra strut when I would get up to change the television (you had to actually get up and change it manually back then). I was Queen of the Universe that day (like my friend Sue would say) and I would just feel so damn happy.

The magic always happened right after dinner. We would eat, and then the cake would come with the candles. My brother and sisters would all have to sing to me, just me. My mom and dad would sing and I would look at all the candles and see everyone singing and I would be proud to be me. I remember how cool it was to be me that day. I would unwrap gifts, like Parcheesi or Life. I would tear the paper open, flip the birthday cards for money and be grateful for each and every gift. It didnt matter that I didnt get the plane, or the Steelers had a big game in "March" and couldnt make it to sing to me. I was just so happy that it was MY day, it was MY BIRTHDAY!

Tomorrow is *that* day. I will be celebrating my Forty second birthday and I still feel the excitement. I dont feel it like when I was a kid, but I feel it. I dont need a big production, or fancy gifts because I know what day it is and I know whose day it is. It is mine, and no matter how I spend it, I will enjoy it and I will be happy to be alive for one more day.

Thank you for all of my birthday wishes.

Luv Ya,
AllieMac-Gina

What I Did on my Facebook Vacation

Over the past year Facebook has been a great source of comedy relief and an excellent social outlet for me. It is a place where my warped sense of humor is acceptable and actually appreciated by some. It gave me something to do when there was nothing else to do. BUT, I recently noticed it started to become something * to * do, when there were other things to be done. It is more fun than going to the gym. It is way more fun than bathing or cleaning my house. And I prefer it to working any day. It is clear I have issues, so a few months ago I turned off all Facebook notifications to my cell and that helped a bit, kinda like a drunk switching from Whiskey to beer, but it was not enough.

A few weeks ago I temporarily deactivated my entire account for five days. I wanted to see what I would do with the time that I usually spent on Facebook and maybe take a break and see if I was becoming socially inept….. in real life. The fact that I had to DEACTIVATE my account, and couldn’t trust myself not to go look, well that raised a red flag right there. I knew I was on to something and the next five days could be more difficult then I anticipated.


The first night, I had to go back on “real quick” a few times for very important matters. I forgot to leave a message for hooter, or I had to make sure my status was correct while I was away. Such a good addict. I went to work and found myself thinking; maybe I should just forget this. I am sure I am missing all kinds of really fun stuff, but I stood my ground and persevered. The best part about day one and day two, I got text messages from fellow addicts, you know who you are, checking in to see how I was doing. Every text made me laugh and I realized I was going to be ok, except for one lil problem, JOE! Yes, JOE. Surprised? Didn’t think so.

Joe was that monkey on my shoulder. He was that lil voice that kept saying things like…hey guess what hooter said? Or hey, they made a BRING ALLIEMAC BACK page, or hey, they are all saying this or that. I started to see him as that local pusher on the corner, the one I used to get all my skittles from. I found myself having to look at his phone a few times, then feeling a little guilty, but only a little, remember I am addicted, and besides I decided to go on Facebook vacation, not him.

Well, I made it through the five days. Some people (some of the same ones who sent me texts) asked me how it was…you know, like, how was it out there in the real world? How did it go? Are you damaged, do we have you back all in one piece? Are you all religious and stuff now? I see the fear in their eyes when they ask., so let me tell you how it was. It had its pros and cons. I got stuff done. I paid more attention to whom I was with and what I was doing. I didn’t have to look like a deer in headlights when someone was speaking to me and I lost track of what they were saying, because I was checking my update \s on my phone. I got a shitton of work done at work. I cleaned my house, I bathed a few times and I enjoyed every minute at the beach. I shut my brain down and enjoyed quiet moments. I found that I was bored at times. I found that I did not laugh quite as often. I found that I missed all my friends. and I found that itch to draw assflowers and send them out to friends to be almost unbearable.

I do not suggest that you try this at home. The results are not typical. Not everyone will come back the same. I am lucky enough to have an addictive personality, so I made it back. YOU might not.

I do want to thank my Bring AlieMac back fan club. I ordered two hundred and fifty thousand of the rubber band bracelets, but have not received them. I think Gaskin and Gale Parrish are still working on my order? Thanks for all the text messages and thanks for all the support. You will all be getting assflowers and jimmy hats from me for your support (HA, jimmy hats)

Luv ya,
AllieMac-Gina

P.S. Next time I think I will take a *real* vacation.

Facebook- Gina-Post

In July of 2008 I filed for a divorce after 18 years of marriage. I would like to say that my life began to change then, but it actually started to change in October of 2008, when I had a total knee replacement, and was confined to my home for what was supposed to be five to six weeks (ha, me confined, that lasted about two and a half weeks) of recovery. I had a Facebook account that my sister set up for me in March of 2008. I never used it, never even logged on, until that October.

I was home for my second day of a long recovery, sitting in my living room chair, high as a kite on pain meds, all alone, because when you file for divorce, then have major surgery, your husband doesn’t really want to take care of you, and I didn’t dare ask for fear of being poisoned. SO, I was alone watching horrific morning shows on the television when I decided I could probably navigate around the Internet. I turned on my laptop, and saw the Facebook logo thingy. I decided to log on and check this shit out.

Up until October, I was a technotard with a bad knee and had NO experience with the Internet social scene. I basically went online to shop and check out my account balances (contrary to popular belief, I am not a frequent visitor of the porn sites) I looked around and somehow found Casey Oar, Stephanie Dickson and then Valerie Irons, gals I had gone to school with. I sent them a friend request and they accepted. Val Irons was my first real friend on here. She kept me company sometimes while I sat at home eating BonBons, wrapping my knee in ice and popping heavy pain meds. I then friend requested Phil Sabbato. See, I had a huge crush on him in middle school, and he never even knew it. (Sorry Phil, free speech).

I started getting requests from people I hadn’t seen in forever, and was now addicted. I will never forget the first time I friend requested someone and kept checking to see if they accepted, my palms would be all sweaty, my heart would be racing, I would wonder if I had made a huge mistake…just kidding. ! I remember being defriended my first time, my friend “baby man” left, no explanation, just up and defriended me. I was heart broken and felt a great sense of loss. He was my hook up at drunk pottery and I still miss him.

Over the next year, tons of shit changed in my life, and Facebook was always there to make me smile, make me laugh uncontrollably, make me feel dirty, make me feel like an ass, or to just make me feel connected. I have made new friends, gotten to know old friends, friended a puppet by the name of Reverend Leroy Johnson and have a wonderful friend in New Zealand, whose name is Monty. I have reconnected with people I didn’t think I would see again, a few I didn’t WANT to see again, and I have made a few very close friends that I cherish and value their friendship. Hootie, and my Ninja bitches and bitch, I love you!

I have come to know a new language over the past year. Words that I have made up, some, my friends have made up, some come from god knows where, and some my friend Joe McCabe is known to use quite often. Just to make a point of how much I have changed and my life has changed, here is a list I have compiled. It is a list of words that I could have never imagined being a part of my vocabulary It is our own special language, used in our lil facebook community, by myself and many of my very sick and disturbed friends. I hope you enjoy my list, cuz it makes me laugh like hell. I love to read it to my personal assistant at work,. She just walks away, shaking her head. So here ya go……


LSHIF Laughed so hard I farted
Huckleberrieasstard
Muther focker
Fluck
WTF What the fuck
WTH What the hell
ROFWOP rolling on the floor without panties
LSHIPAL laughed so hard I pooped a little
Lol@Joe
Collagen injected penis
Berry beer
Drunk pottery
Floating
Summertime datillos
p-90 and how hard it is
pubic toupe
Ron on Tuesdays
defreind, friended, milk carton friend
Asstard, fucktard, typotard, spelltard, technotard
Various tards
Assclown
douchebaggery
Yamsicles
Ninja Hos (pink ninja, green ninja, cotton candy pink ninja, red ninja and black ninja)
Homotron
Fuckyoudzedzyandthehorseyourodeinon
Lickmystinkybuttfinger
JM&J
Leroy Bunion
Party hat leroy
Bitch wine
Beer wine
Dave Fishers ASS PALM
Hookas
WalMart Hookas
Holla
Woot
felching
Hooterberries
Lol
Private Messaging
Chatting
Blue lightning
Self portraits
Bathroom portraits
snowballing
Wang a merman
Chuckles
Carlton
ASSFLOWERS
AllieMac
ShellieMac
MissieMac
SuzieMac
Tree stalking
Angry dragon
Panty stealing
oh yea, and I have an entirely different outlook on videos, I only watched HOME videos before facebook
Various characters made with the keyboard…

TTYL.
AllieMac-Gina